Carmel Valley is my top suggestion. The homes are new, it's the best location in San Diego, not too far north, or south, schools are great, etc etc. Carmel Valley is located along the new " 56 Freeway" that connects the inland communities, like Poway, to the coastal ones, like Del Mar, where Carmel Valley is considered to be located. The UTC shopping mall in La Jolla is a 10 minute drive from Carmel Valley. Check out my site for listings in Carmel Valley www.CarmelValleySanDiegoHomes.info
I'd pretty much recommend from Carlsbad to La Jolla, based on the info you gave. These coastal areas have the most high end properties with middle end ones, too, unless of course you'd consider Rancho Santa Fe, which is a true luxury market, which is very secluded, though.Anyhow, Best of luck. I'm here when you need me.