Talk with your lender. FYI, they have lost a lot of money over the past 5 years, getting a home is harder now than it used to be. I know it is frustrating, but working with so many buyers I have found it does little good to question them, instead get them (lender) what they want as soon as you can, jump thru all of their hoops. Once you are done, you will be moved into your new house and probably forget all about the lender's hassles within the first month.
And it does not matter if the loan is "only in your name", you are married.
Best of luck.