Every plan is different VA does not allow some of the expenses to be paid by the borrower, but has a higher interest rate. FHA you need 3.5% down plus MIP gets factored in to the loan. I don't know what other product they offered you. Lenders must now disclose everything because of all the predatory lending in the past. Yes it is confusing but the best person to have clarified your concerns was the lender. If the lender was so unapproachable that you did not feel comfortable asking the WHY questions just find another one.