I'd be interested in speaking with you off of these forums in hopes that we can share our experience with Ryan Homes in order to leverage some weight with negotiating with them. Let me know if you want get in contact.
You are much more likely to get all of the upgrades and for resale, this is important as well. Ask for everything you can because they are probably not going to lower the price. And if you decide to buy in that community you don't want them to be lowering the price because then your house value is affected as well. Right now you are thinking as a buyer, but at some point down the line you may be the seller of that very house and you don't want to know that your neighbors got a lower price and thus has affected your value very directly.
Also, builders charge much more for upgrades than if you were to ever do it yourself. How many of the other units have sold? You may also want to ask how much those sold for...
I was planning on going in and saying I want this house with upgrades A, B,C, and D for $350k. Does it really matter if i pay for upgrade A but get B, C, and D for free or pay for upgrades A & B and get C & D for free as long as its $350?
Remember, the person in the Ryan sales office represents the builder's best interest not yours. So if you do not have a real estate agent representing you, you will have to press these issues yourself. Educate yourself first: Find out what other homes in Dorchester, similiar to the one you want to buy, have sold for. Since there are many other new communities in that area check them out also to see what they offer and their pricing. Then when you go back to Ryan with a proposal you will be an "informed buyer" and know what your best course of action will be.
The thing to remember with new home sales is that they are not very likely to lower the price. If anything they will be more likely to offer you more incentives, upgrades, etc.
The reason they do this is so it helps to protect as much as possible the comps they have throughout. It is very easy for someone to find out how much was paid for the home and they don't want to have low prices because then all of them would have to sell like that.
So if you are expecting them to lower the price, I would talk to your agent about other ways to negotiate this. I'm not familiar with the exact project you are referring to, but new home sales are slow right now in general. Also, talk to your agent and hopefully they have experience with new home sales and can help guide you with deciphering what the builder is telling you you have to do for incentives and what can actually be obtained...