You have excellent answers here.
A couple of thoughts:
You have three options that I see from your post:
1. If you want to stay in the home, try to get the lender to re-negotiate the loan.
2. If you want to get out of the home, then try to negotiate a short sale.
these two options require the opposite approach. In both cases you need to explain to the lender how at one time you qualified for the mortgage and could make the payments, and how it is that now you are in trouble. You will also be asked to provide a financial statement of assets and liabilities.
To obtain the loan mod you'll need to prove that if they give you are lower mortgage payment that you can pay it.
To negotiate a short sale you want to prove that you are broke.
The lender would rather have you try options one or two FIRST.
From the lender's perspective they would rather NOT have to foreclose.
If you would like I would be happy to try to refer you to a Realtor that could provide you with advice on your options. Contact me via my Trulia profile.