You may have answered your question. By declining to be your agent, the Realtor was either a dual agent or a seller's agent which changes their primary responsibility. The Realtor's fiduciary and ethical responsibility was either to you both equally or to the seller only. The Realtor's Code of Ethics and state license laws address this very specifically. The Realtor must act in accordance with terms of the agency that has been established (either by actions or contract). Only a Buyers Agent could have fully complied with your wishes.