You are not alone.......it seems that lenders like to leave people "in a fog." In many cases there is either an unwillingness or lack on knowledge that block people from truly understanding. You were right to not sign!
We would like to make several recommendations:
1. Keep asking question until you do understand. If that doesn't work, ask to speak with another representative.....remember, it's not you. It's their responsibility to make this information clear to every individual.
2. Take notes.....ask if they mind if you use a tape recorder
3. Consider using multiple resources....the second or third company may be able to clarify the issues others could not
4. Request a "good faith estimate"
It may be helpful when meeting with a loan specialist to set some basic guidelines that would include....if you expect to get my business, it's going to be essential that you understand everything. Anything short of this and you'll find the answers elsewhere.