For FHA loan, lenders don't care that much about credit and yours and your husband's credit are good enough for FHA loan.
Borrowers usually pay points to buy down the rate. It doesn't mean pay 1 point (1%) to lower 1%, might just lower 0.5% or less.
I know that some mortgage officers want borrowers to pay a deposit before they lock rates for clients; because they don't want borrowers shop around and back off after they lock the rate.
If you finance 3% closing costs, which would be $8,700. If your closing costs is less than that, you cannot get the money. Sometimes mortgage broker charge you 1% to increase your closing costs in order to use all your 3%. Then they credit you back the money as a refund.
Hope this answer your questions but this is not a norm. I don't know why your banker handles in this way. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you don't understand. They should explain to you and make it clear to you.
Good luck with your closing and congratulations!
Real Estate Investment Consultant