First of all I want to say that Spokane is a great place to raise a child. I have raised 3 here and I find it to be a very well rounded community
As for finding that small community there is several outlying "bedroom" communities that would likely suit your needs.
In order to direct you to the areas that would be a good fit for your family I would want to know a few more details. Is your child into sports and if so what kind of sports? Is there any special academic needs?
Are you trying to stay within a certain commute time to Spokane? If you end up in a rural location what is the longest bus ride you would want for your child?
I am a Relocation Specialist and there is a lot of details that goes into finding the "right" home and location.
I would love the opportunity to work with you and find the right home for you and your family.
Feel free to check out .... http://www.greatschools.org
Keller Williams Realty