How do I get my boyfriend of 12 yrs to leave. I'm afraid he will become violent and want to do this the right way.

Asked by Sunday, Salinas, CA Mon Aug 23, 2010

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Maureen Mason, Agent, Pacific Grove, CA
Mon Aug 23, 2010
Please contact the Salinas YWCA
1221 South Main Street, Suite 201
Salinas, CA 93901
They'll provide support and can assist you.

There's also a crises hotline # to call 372-6300 at the YWCA. There's someone there 24 hours. These are people who understand your situation and have experience. They can help you with a restraining order.
Do not delay making this call.
Please let me hear back from you so I know you're safe.
Maureen Mason
Coldwell Banker
Pacific Grove, CA
2 votes
Bill Eckler, Agent, Venice, FL
Mon Aug 23, 2010

With the ver limited information you have provided it would be fair to speculate that you may benefit from some solid support. Having an impartial resource that can help you process things may provide you with the clearity you are seeking.

On the surface, if you are genuinely concerned for your safety, it may be you that should make the move to leave......
0 votes
Jeanne Feeni…, Agent, Basking Ridge, NJ
Mon Aug 23, 2010
Oh my Sunday, if you are fearing for your safety - and it sounds as though you are - then I agree that "right away" is a very good idea. I would add to what others have posted, enlist the support of your family. And if it comes down to you having to get away to be safe, then I'd recommend to someone I cared about to get away.

Good luck to you Sunday, follow your gut instincts - they are our greatest asset.

Jeanne Feenick
Unwavering Commitment to Service
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0 votes
Linda S. Cef…, Agent, Franklin, WI
Mon Aug 23, 2010

You will also want to check with your local laws. They may supersede whatever is in your lease. Sometimes landlords draft leases that are not worth the paper they are written on. Check with your local police department and ask them what the laws are regulating this sort of thing especially if you think there is a chance he may not leave voluntarily.

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Steven Ornel…, Agent, Fremont, CA
Mon Aug 23, 2010
Hi Sunday,

As a first step and in order for you to do some background research, please review the following document to try and find a match for your specific situation so you have a better idea of what your options are:
This is a very useful document. I would suggest you review it in an environment where you do not feel threatened.

Also, speak with your Landlord. If your boyfriend is not listed as an occupant you have options that the Landlord can possibly assist you with.

Best, Steve
0 votes
Melinda J. R…, Agent, Hudsonville, MI
Mon Aug 23, 2010
Sunday, this really sounds like more of a safety issue. Maybe you should have someone with you or talk to authorities. I am not sure how your lease was written up. Is he also on the lease? You might want to discuss this with your land lord and see if there is something you can do. Not sure with the info I have here.

Be safe and best wishes to you.
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