Good morning, Kate.... Having a good equity stake in your new home is valuable, but the lender will want a job to verify. I get the impression from your family situation that you'd rather move as a unit, rather than having your husband lead the way with a job and a rental in Charlotte. That being said, your choices appear to be: 1) Sell your current home first, or 2) List your home with a property manager seeking a one/two year rental.
My experience with homes that are listed for sale with a renter on board is that the renter has no incentive to help you procure a sale. Consequently, somebody with a different set of "goals" is staging your home for sale. In my experience, you home will not show at its best and it will be more difficult to sell.
If you have a little "room to breathe", I'd probably be a bit more agressive on the list price, to push you towards the top of the buyers' preferences. Of course, I'd suggest your home be in the best condition possible. This mix of condition and price should make for a compelling case when people come to look. As to pricing agressively, one has to consider the carrying cost for the next one or two years. With that in mind, a quicker sale at a lower price isn't a bad idea.
I'd suggest beginining the job search now knowing that an employer may not be finalizing their choice for another few months anyway. Depending on what comes along in Charlotte, you can always make the decision to accept or decline at that time. At least that will give you an opportunity to decide.
Insofar as renting or buying when you come to Charlotte, I think it comes down to personal preference. You sound as if you have a good working defintion to your life. A realtor compatible with you and your family should be able to assist you in finding a selection of neighborhoods that meet your criteria. Renting is always an option (especially depending on time), but I don't think it's an absolute prerequisite for finding your next home.
The sale of your home doesn't mean you have to move to Charlotte immediately, by the way, (as I'm sure you know anyway). Upon the sale of your home, you could stay local and rent (or even rent the home you just sold) and continue your job search. It might be easier on the family NOT to move to Charlotte and rent, but rather have your husband continue his job search from NH (maybe visiting Charlotte on occasion). This might mitigate the stress while the job search is still active and allow you and the children to have your usual safety net of famliy and friends.
I hope you find the above helpful. Please feel free to contact me with any questions, and of course, I'd be happy to help you in your search.
Best wishes to you and your family! ..Jim Nuccio...
Broker, NC/SC Keller Willams Realty