Any advice how to make a move more appealing to 2 teens who are set in not wanting to leave? Were in PA, the move is to Greensboro, NC.

Asked by Diane Torchio, Greensboro, NC Thu Apr 28, 2011

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lori card, Agent, Advance, NC
Thu Oct 31, 2013
I relocated to Mocksville NC from Northern Va in 2006 with 4 children ages 15, 13, 11 and 6. Of course it was an adjustment but in the end the best thing we ever did. The moment we moved, we found a great youth group for our kids to get to know local kids and we immediately got involved with the local sports in our county. It took no time at all for my kids to make new friends and quickly learn to love their new home as much as the one they left. We kept in touch with their friends often and still do. Your kids will do great! Get involved in the community as soon as you can. I hope this helps~Lori Carden RE?MAX Preferred Properties, Clemmons NC
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Nancy Fergus…, Renter, Winston-Salem, NC
Sun Mar 3, 2013
After moving with two sons who were painfully changed by the loss of their beloved friends, I would suggest the following: Move into a great neighbourhood as much like the one you're leaving or better (swimming pool, tennis courts, visually beautiful), close to school and things they like to do. Do not live in a remote area. It is more painful if they feel isolated. It would be better for them if you live in the same neighbourhood where kids from their school live, so they could walk or bike to friend's houses.
Research the school carefully. Be certain they will want to be there. They should spend a half day (including lunch) at each school they are considering. Spend 4 or 5 days in the city before you all make the choices for home and school. Give them control over these choices.
Don't tell them they'll adjust or like where you're moving to. This denies their current feelings. Right now, they don't want to like it. That would be disloyal to their friends if they did.
Drive around. Explore the city. (Get advice on where to go first). Plan a visit back to their old city and friends for the next holiday. Set up skype so they can keep visually connected with their friends.
Material things will not replace the deep loss they will feel so don't tell them they should be grateful for what you have done for them. (After all, you are the one who made them move right?) Making new friends, being connected and involved in activities will keep them busy during the first painful year of adjustment to this loss. Give them opportunity at home to voice their feelings and new experiences. Weekly sessions with the guidance counselor or or family therapist could be a sounding board and give helpful advice for the whole family. Don't just stand by and hope they will adjust. Hug them and tell them how much you love them every day.
They will feel better next year.
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Bill Eckler, Agent, Venice, FL
Thu Apr 28, 2011
Moving teens away from their friends can be more traumatic that for them than leaving family members and can be a most difficult experience.

The best approach we've found is getting them invested in the process from the beginning, soliciting their input about the home, its location, their rooms, schools, neighborhood etc. The more they are engaged the easier it becomes.

Consider having them bring a friend with them to visit the area and reassuring them that they can communicate and even visit each other may also help to bridge the gap. Our best advice it to focus on not allowing it to become a battle but an essential experience that is going to be difficult for everyone...not just them.

Best wiishes,

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Sandy Robert…, Agent, Kernersville, NC
Thu Apr 28, 2011
Hey y'all! All I have to say is that I grew up in southeastern PA, joined the Navy and have lived in many places around the US. I picked the Greensboro area to settle down and finish raising my family. My two daughters love living here and had a wonderful experience as teenagers. I don't know what interests your children have, but there is plenty to do whether it is a school activity or something in the community. I would love to know more about what your teens like to do or what it is specifically they are concerned about. I'm sure the biggest concern may be that they are sad to leave their friends. The people here are very friendly and it shouldn't take much to get them plugged in to something where they can make new friends. Plus with social media and texting, they can still stay in touch with their old friends. Call me or email if you want to discuss further. And welcome to the South!!
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