You will need the buyer, their agent and your listing agent to contact the loan officer who csan contact the appraiser or the VA underwriter directly. you should provide them with proof , examples, pictures, floor plans and anything else tha may help you cause. Without the buyers help and the buyer wanting it, it wont get donw.
As far as the deposit, if teh sale is contingent upon the buyer receiving financing, and tehy ar ewithin their dates, if the va wont fund it, they cant get a mortgage and if the provide a mortgage denial letter within that time, cahnces are they are within their contract, if they are outside the dates, or dont probvide a mortgage denial lette rin time, then you have a case. get you listing agent involved to save the deal.