Have you ever thought about writing a sit com? You definately have a way with words. Unfortunately, "puffery" is not against the law, as you may have already found out.
And not being specific in the remarks, is a major complaint homebuyers and Realtors have. Here are some of my favorites.
"Cozy", is a home so small, that anyone who has ever eaten french fries, can not move from room to room, without injuring themselves. "Handyman Special", is a home in such disrepair, that you need to sign a waver just to enter the facility. And, "needs TLC", is really a "tear-dow," in disguise.
Of course, a "tear down", can also mean that there are old leaky pipes, just
below the surface, that are causing the entire neighborhood to smell like rotten eggs.
Notice "tear down", refers to the property above grade, and makes no mention of what can be happening below the home.
So as you can see, beauty is in the eyes, of the writer who enters the listing remarks. Good luck, and feel free to lampoon any other "zingers" you find out there.