Lose 60k, sell short or forclose...Recent widower needs advise

Asked by Jay, North Ironbound, Newark, NJ Thu Sep 25, 2008

I lost my wife last year, knowing I could not afford house on own put it up, I just relisted. Now I have the
dilemma of losing close to 60k or walking away. Looking for advise

Help the community by answering this question:

+ web reference
Web reference:


William Leigh Holt’s answer
William Leigh…, , New Jersey
Fri Sep 26, 2008
Jay: It would appear that you really need a financial advisor. You do not mention your age, which is certainly an issue if you are a senior. Regardless, there are all sorts of things you can do, from reverse mortgages to refinancing the remaining balance on the mortgage to renegotiating the existing contract. What you have the resources to do and what will be the most effective way to reorganize your life after your wife's death remains far too large a scope for this forum.

Some of my friend belong to an organization that was called "Life goes on." It may have had a name change but I know that they are still active. It's especially set up for widows and widowers, where they can meet for comfort, socialization and informal advice and references. I would hope you might find a similar group to see if they can help point you in the right direction. I'm at an age where several of my friends have, unfortunately, become candidates for such a group. Many of us find comfort in just getting together as senior singles, widowed or not.

This last is, (as I have been accused of and accused others of) off the point of the immediate question. I think that perhaps it might be the answer to a much bigger question that you have to answer in dealing with the loss of your spouse and the financial readjustments you must make, senior or not.

My very best regards to you
0 votes
Jeanne Feeni…, Agent, Basking Ridge, NJ
Fri Sep 26, 2008
Jay, agree with Gina. Talk with your mortgage provider to see if they can be helpful. Agree to that carefully weighing the impact of foreclosuer is important. Proceed carefully and weigh all the effects before you act.

Jeannie Feenick
Search and connect at http://www.feenick.com
Web Reference:  http://www.feenick.com
0 votes
Gina Chirico, Agent, Fairfield, NJ
Thu Sep 25, 2008

I am sorry for your loss and your hardship. Have you contacted the loan modification department because they may be willing if you can prove hardship to workout the loan terms for you.

With that being said, I'm a little confused as to your question. If you opt for losing the $60,000, are you still able to payoff the entire balance on your mortgage but you walk away with nothing (i.e, $0)or is the house worth $60,000 less than what you owe so the really the bank is losing the $60,000 and you are able to walk away through a short sale and protecting your credit from the impact of foreclosure?

The impact the foreclosure will have on your credit is not something to take lightly. If you decide that you do not want to still own the house due to your unfortunate circumstances, you and/or your agent should contact your lender and start the process of a short sale. Although each lender varies, the initial short sales packet usually consists of the same documents: a letter of hardship for you, a letter signed by you authorizing the bank to speak to your agent, paystubs, tax returns, bank statements. Your agent will have to provide a copy of the listing of the house, along with the comps and a detailed analysis of the current market where the property is listed as the bank is most likely out of state and only the realtor can provide a true analysis of the marked conditions. Some banks will actually give the "miracle number" or at least a price range in which they will entertain an offer while other banks just say to bring them an offer and then it'll be about 4-6 weeks before the bank responds to the offer. Have you looked to your agent for advice? Does your agent have experience in short sales and/or foreclosures? I've learned that when it comes to short sales...experience plays a key role.

Good luck.

Gina Chirico, Sales Associate
Prudential NJ Properties
973-715-1158 cell
973-239-7700 ext 132
0 votes
John Sacktig, Agent, New Jersey, NJ
Thu Sep 25, 2008
Hi Jay -

Sorry for your loss and situation. Talk to your mortgage people and see what you can work out. Most banks are willing to talk considering the current state of the financial crisiss in the world. Best to open the full line of communication and get a straight answer from the bank. Also seek the advise of a financial advisor and discuss both actions and how they will affect your future credit and such.

John Sacktig
Orange Key Realty
0 votes
Barbara Ostr…, Agent, Closter, NJ
Thu Sep 25, 2008
Talk to your mortgage company about renegotiating the loan. They don't want to foreclose if they can help you out. Otherwise, remember that wherever you buy, you will also buy at a lower level and you may not lose as much as you think. I'm sorry for your loss.
0 votes
Search Advice
Ask our community a question

Email me when…

Learn more