IMHO, You will be best served by talking to a few Design Build custom home builders in the Ridgefield area. I'm saying that with 26 years experience as a custom home builder (we do not service your area). Networking to get a few names can be done by talking to local suppliers (they will give you names of those who do a lot of business and why pay their bills), bankers (your lender will want you to work with a builder who's reputable and who can get the job done without third party liens being placed on the property), the local builder's association, and even building inspectors (they know who does good work).
The advantage to hearing right from the horse's mouth what costing might be is that Design Build contractors can provide you with turn-key services. Check references (BBB, Consumer Protection, past clients, court system at http://www.jud.ct.gov/
,etc.), visit other homes they have recently built, and take your time to find a builder who is a good match for your needs. Some builders have a "can do" attitude and will allow you to participate in the process of construction and others will be turned off if you want to do any parts of the home.
Not all home builders are good at dealing with custom build client's needs. Many are geared up for and used to spec building (making their own decisions and being accountable to themselves) and then having real estate agents list and sell the completed homes. Those types of builders sell you a home instead of being used to working for an Owner. Also keep in mind that a small remodeling contractor can quickly find themselves in trouble and like a fish out of water if the undertake building you a custom home since that's not what they do every day for others.
Hope this info helps and best of luck with your new home build.
Greg Hanner, Broker, REALTOR, e-PRO