Good morning Sharleen,
It appears from your statements that you face 3 serious issues presenting obstacles to your qualification for mortgage financing.
1. "per diem job of my husband" For basic Underwriting of a mortgage loan, per diem presents a problem because the income is not permanent. Underwriting a loan requires assessing risk based on previous employment history combined with the likelihood that employment is stable and will continue (so you can pay the mortgage loan!). Your Mortgage Banker may be able to dig a little deeper into his income situation to see if there is a way his income situation can become acceptable (per diem as per a contract for more than three years, for exampe)
2. Monthly debt of $2500. Wow, that's a big monthly nut. While you may handily pay that every month (I assume you are paying bills on time since you didn't mention you have low credit scores), unless the rest of your Income picture can hold up to that amount of monthly payments along with a new mortgage payment, then you won't qualify.
3. "18k deductibles" When these expenses are deducted---and I assume these are "Unreimbursed Employee Expenses" from Line 21 of Schedule A of your Federal 1040's---we are required to subtract this number from your income for qualifying purposes. Thus your $65,000 becomes $47,000 for qualifying purposes.
It sounds as if your Mortgage Banker did a credible job of trying to qualify you, and, unfortunately, you are not qualified. Did you explore the options of either bringing in a cosignor, or paying down debt, or your husband obtaining a "permanent" salaried job? Did your banker discuss these potential options with you?
If you want a second opinion, I am a Local Mortgage Banker and would be happy to meet with you.