I can see the difficulty. From your question I can not determine if Bank of America or Bank of New York is involved.
The first question you must ask yourself is, "Do you want to keep your home?" Seriously, do you have reasonable income that will allow you to maintain and keep the home as far into the future as you can see. If the answer is yes, you need to contact a real estate attorney.
If the response is, "No. I do not see we have the financial ability or desire to stay in this home." then you should constul a multi-dimensional real estate professional who can assess your situation and present to you several options that will lead to resolution.
WHAT YOU MUST NOT DO IS NOTHING!!!!!!!
Don't become a passive victim. Don't expect someone to come to your rescue. Pick up the phone and call. Get the right folks on your side and set upon a strategy that is most beneficial to you and those important to you.
Best of success to you.
Annette Lawrenece, Broker/Associate
Remax Realtec Group, Palm Harbor, Fl