Maybe you imagine some listing agent would see this post and call me and only allow me to show the house, without telling the seller that was what was going on? That's nuts - the listing agent is motivated to get the best price for their client, so why would they do that? As you said, more competition brings a higher price.
A listing agent would ONLY do so if the seller WANTED it done that way.
And if that's what the SELLER wants to do, that's no one's business but theirs. They have a right to call the shots, and they have no obligation to make you or me happy.
And as far as 'giving out information' goes - the RULES say the agent can only disclose what they are authorized by the seller to disclose. Listing agents do not have to tell buyer's agents IF there are other offers, how many there are, whether the seller accepted another offer, or for how much. You may not like it, but that's how it is.
BTW - the client that I was helping at the time this post was written has been happily moved into their new house for weeks now. I discovered a great technique to help my clients, and used it successfully for my next client too. It's quite simple, and anyone could do it.
I wish you all the best and I really do hope you get your new house soon.
Personally, I have employed several methods to get my clients into homes that are outside of the 'norm', because I work hard to meet MY clients needs. Your agent should be doing the same for you, and if they're smart they won't rely on other agents looking out for you at the expense of their own clients.
Perhaps it would help if you understood the fact that many homeowners would much prefer not putting their house on the market and having a parade of strangers coming through. For instance, disabled people who can't easily leave the house for showings, people who have especially sensitive or valuable objects that can't easily be secured.
I could give you several specific examples of people who didn't want the typical scenario of putting their house on the market, but did want to sell and would do so if a buyer could be found in a simpler manner, but that would be giving away private information and I won't do it.
AND - if you look at Kimberly's answer - she was working for the best interest of HER client and telling me it was coming up, but she didn't say she was going to keep other buyers from seeing it. The only thing an answer like hers did to help me, was I could see if my client could get time off work or something, to be sure they got to see it before it went under contract. Your agent could do the same thing for you.
I find it interesting that you accuse me of breaking some part of the REALTOR Code of Ethics. The way I read it, I am to do the best job I can for MY client. If you know of some paragraph that says I did anything wrong posting this question, enlighten me.