DHI is affiliated with DR Horton and therefore they have no interest in making sure you're happy....they're only interested in making sure the builder (their real customer) happy. Your circumstances happen far too often and you will likely not get your earnest money and upgrade money back from DR Horton. Not much you can do except try another lender and hope DR Horton wants to get the home sold bad enough. I've gone through tons of lenders over the years, most who are no longer in business. I now use one lady exclusively because she tells it like it is and won't lead folks on. If you need someone who is straight up, just email me at email@example.com.
Good luck Aaron.