Call the bank again!!!
I think you get the picture from the comments. You need professional help with this, and there are many offers here for that.
First, follow the links on the HUD.gov site so you know what to expect and what to watch out for.
Good luck, make educated decisions.
If some agent here has the solution--great. Talk to him/her. And so long as it doesn't involve missing a payment, run the "solution" past a financial advisor first. But don't miss that payment unless you're fully willing to end up in foreclosure.
I know over a dozen people who were told the same thing: Miss a payment and we'll modify your loan.
Those people are all being foreclosed upon now because it turns out the bank couldn't/wouldn't/didn't modify the loan.
On the other hand, if you keep a clean payment history, you might be able to refinance under the new HARP guidelines when they kick in in March.