You've already received lots of answers and advice from throughout the country. I see you are located in Nevada. I am not licensed in your state but if you are in financial stress and your property has become a hardship, I would stringly suggest you begin the short sale process. If you need a local REALTOR, I can refer you to someone.
As to your actual question, NO ONE shoudl be telling you to stop paying anything EXCEPT an attorney who is familiar with your specific situation. ANY Real Estate Licensee who tells you to become delinquent on your obligations should not be in our business.
If you stop paying the HOA fee, it is likely the association can 1) file a lien and 2) foreclose subject to any other mortgages on the property - this is becoming more commonplace these days. The HOA can foreclose faster than the bank and coud eliminate any other options you may still have.
Also, in a short sale, most lenders will not allow the HOA fees to be paid from the sale of the property so it is more important these fees be kept current. As for taxes, your lender will have to cure the tax issue prior to any sale BUT, that may be put onto the Buyer which will make your property less attractive to buyers.
As others have said, consult with an attorney and list your property for sale as quickly as possible. If you have only one mortgage, contact your lender and ask about a "Deed in Lieu" - basically you give the house back to the bank and they MAY help you with relocation costs.
Best of Luck to you,
Broker / Owner
Thom Colby Properties
Newport Beach, CA
Moving Lives Forward (TM)
We never double-end a transaction in our brokerage.