My wife stopped paying the mortgage on the house I live in with our daughter, and the bank refuses to talk to me. I am divorced and she walked away

Asked by Dad333, 95020 Fri Jul 6, 2012

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Stu Carson’s answer
Stu Carson, Agent, San Jose, CA
Sat Jul 7, 2012
Some key information seems to be missing. Email me your name & hers' and I'll tell you if you are on title. Clearly you aren't on the loan, so you have no short term obligation to pay, and depending upon your divorce you may have no long term either. That could be a good thing living in someone elses' property with no obligation to pay.

How long ago were you divorced? And was the home part of the settlement?

I can find out how long she's been missing payments and whether the bank(s) have filed a Notice of Default or Notice of Trustee Sale.

If you aren't on title and have no obligation to pay, what is it you want from the bank? To buy the home? To assume her mortgage payments? If you aren't on title currently and your divorce decree has already settled property ownership 100%... your desire, ability & right to buy is the same as any renters' regardless of family relationship who might desire to buy their landlords' home (whether you pay her rent or not).

I'm happy to discuss this with you further, but as you can see, there are several things that need to be clarified, so call or email me soon.

Stu Carson
Stu@StuCarson.com
408-209-0849
http://www.JustMyProperties.com
http://www.JustSchoolInfo.com
http://www.GetRealRealtor.com
1 vote
Elena Talis, Broker, Palo Alto, CA
Fri Jul 6, 2012
Get a lawyer. I am sure the situation you are in is more complex than you are willing to share on this forum...
1 vote
Stu Carson, Agent, San Jose, CA
Sat Jul 7, 2012
Dad333, Just saw your clarifications. They raise more questions. You believe you are on title, but we can quickly double check that if you provide me your names and the address.

If you are on title, the next key question will be how? There are multiple ways for married couples to hold title, each with different implications.

You say you were "served" for foreclosure, send me a copy of that document. Many times people think they've been served when they haven't. You may or may not have been. If you don't have a way to scan it as a pdf and attach to an email, fax it to me at 888-885-7284.

And I assume the reason just she was on the refinance was because your credit at the time was inadequate? And I assume that like most divorce's your credit has got worse since then? Is that true?

Regardless of what we find out, I still have the same fundamental question, "what do you want from the bank?". What is your objective? Having been through a divorce myself the past 5yrs I know that even the answer to that question can be fairly complicated because it may involve a combination of factors... finances & emotional. You need to talk with someone you can trust. Make that decision asap. Happy to be that person.

P.S. I'm on my 4th divorce attorney and have been referred to several others that if/when needed I can refer you to. Ditto when it comes to real estate attorneys. I empathize with you, before you go pay someone $350-$450/hr... let's see what we can figure out together.

Stu Carson
Stu@StuCarson.com
408-209-0849
http://www.JustMyProperties.com
http://www.JustSchoolInfo.com
http://www.GetRealRealtor.com
0 votes
Terri Vellios, Agent, Campbell, CA
Sat Jul 7, 2012
I couldn't say for sure that you are on the Deed because when it was refinanced in her name only that act may have removed you from the Deed. You probably were asked to sign an inter spousal or quit claim deed at that time.

The other aspect is what is in your divorce papers as to property?

Because of these the recommendation is for you to seek legal council.

All the best to you.
Web Reference:  http://www.terrivellios.com
0 votes
Anja Kerstens, Agent, Morgan Hill, CA
Sat Jul 7, 2012
Dad333,

Since you are on the deed I most definitely would urge you to contact a real estate lawyer. I am located in Gilroy so if you need a few recommendations in the Gilroy area please email me so I can forward them to you. As a Distressed Certified Property Expert (CDPE) I am helping homeowners who are no longer able to pay their mortgages.

akerstens@summitrealtygrp.com
http://akerstens.com
0 votes
Steven Ornel…, Agent, Fremont, CA
Sat Jul 7, 2012
Dad333:

Unfortunately, the Lender will not talk to you because you are not tied to the loan obligation.
Contact a Lawyer to address your situation, as Rudy suggests, "preferably, the one(s) that represented you in your divorce".

-Steve
0 votes
Dad333, Home Owner, 95020
Sat Jul 7, 2012
We purchased the house together.. she refinanced and the broker put the loan all in her name... when we separated she stopped paying it. We are now divorced. She refused equitable distribution of debt only wanted a non contested divorce and that's all they did. She told the bank she doesn't care, I have provided proof I'm on the deed and the bank doesn't care... I have been served foreclouser.. they contacted her and she doesn't care and they will not even talk to me.
0 votes
, ,
Sat Jul 7, 2012
Hi, Dad333. Your question and situation requires an attorney to answer properly. preferably, the one(s) that represented you in your divorce.
0 votes
Steven Ornel…, Agent, Fremont, CA
Sat Jul 7, 2012
Dad333:

Carla and Elena hit the nail on the head below (get a lawyer / we're not getting 100% of the info).
You need legal advice ... cancel that ... you need to hire a lawyer and respond to the situation.

-Steve
0 votes
Lance King, Agent, San Francisco, CA
Sat Jul 7, 2012
From what you are saying it sounds like you are not on title, or at least not on the loan. I would get a good real estate attorney to help you sort out your options.
0 votes
Bob Lasswell, Agent, Morgan Hill, CA
Sat Jul 7, 2012
Do you have any ownership of the property? You need to talk to your ex-wife immediately. Do not wait to get this resolved.
0 votes
Norman Aless…, Agent, San Jose, CA
Sat Jul 7, 2012
Dad333,
Hi agree with the other agents, get a real estate lawyer, contact me and I will give you the name of the attorney I use. I also am a Certified Distressed Property Expert if you have any other questions about what you should or shouldn't do let me know.
At your service,
Allyson
408-705-6578
allyson@homesbyallyson.com
CDPE
0 votes
Anja Kerstens, Agent, Morgan Hill, CA
Fri Jul 6, 2012
Dear Dad333,

Are you on title? Is the deed in both of your names?
If not you need to ask her to sign an "Authorization to Furnish and Release Information" form which you then can send to the lender. They need 5 days to update their system but after that you should be able to discuss your mortgage with her/your lender and find solutions to the financial problems related to the house.
Give me a call or send me an email so I can send you an authorization form.
By-the-way: depending on your situation she may be hurting her credit rating. Not dealing with the payment responsibilities makes the situation worse in the near future.
Good luck. If you need more help or have more questions don't hesitate to contact me.

Anja K. Kerstens CDPE, CHS
http://akerstens.com
0 votes
Carla Muss-J…, , Portland, OR
Fri Jul 6, 2012
Seems as though this is a legal question, not a real estate related question. Many people think that because something involves a house/property that real estate agent should know. This involves nothing to do with the buying/selling of a property. It seems to be a legal matter involving a very complicated family matter.

Seek legal counsel.
0 votes
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