I am a Real Estate Broker & not a lender, but what your lender has told you is consistent with lenders I deal with. Your credit score should be just high enough to qualify for a VA loan, if you have your VA eligibility (if not, you can go to the VA website & apply). However, due to your self-employment, you will need to prove a minimum 2 year track record of making a profit (actually earning a living). Some self-employed people do fine, but the way they structure their tax reporting, it looks like they make no money. They do not get approved for loans. So, you will need to take a look at your taxes that you file and make sure you show a profit each year. Consult with your lender on just how much profit you need to show in order to qualify for the loan amount you are seeking.
Good luck with the planning. And remember to save, save, save. Even if you can get 100% financing...having money is always good!
Associate Broker, Keller Williams Realty