Sadly your situation is all too common. If I were you this is what I would do.
#1 - i'd quit paying the mortgage until I got a new job
#2 - keep everything else up to date as best you can (i'm willing to bet that the mortgage is your biggest debt)
#3 - once you have new employment file for chapter 13 bankruptcy. JUST YOU- not your wife.
Chapter 13 will allow you to cure the arrears on the the mortgage over time. And you will get to stay in the house.
#4 - KEEP TALKING TO THE BANK!!! In truth they're not going to give you any real help. But talking to them will keep the wolf away from the door for quite some time.
Best of luck!
You can save yourself a LOT of headaches