How much you need in escrow depends on:
1. Exactly when you close
2. The last time your taxes and insurance were paid by the prior lender
3. When your taxes and insurance are due next
Escrows for your loan might differ from escrows for my loan if the prior lender has not paid the current tax bill.
You can kinda figure it out on your own. Just determine when your next tax bill will be due after you close, Let's assume it is a 6-month tax bill (2 quarters) due Feb 15, 2011. If you close in November, you won't make a payment until January 1 - at the earliest. So, by Feb 15, you will have made only 2 payments and only 2 months taxes would be in escrow. But you will need 6 months available to pay the Feb 15 tax bill. The only way to get the additional 4 months plus have 2 months cushion is to collect it from you at closing. But you don't lose anything. Much of that 6 months should be sitting in your current escrow account and it will be refunded to you after you close the new loan.
Do the same calculation for your homeowner insurance.
It wouldn't be much different at another lender. Maybe one month difference.
The mortgage payment and interest is what it is.
FYI, in some areas, like Philadelphia, escrows for taxes can be as much as 13 months depending on when the new loan closes. In New Jersey, it can be as little as 2 months. Each loan is different.
Unfortunate that your loan officer could not or was unwilling to explain this to you.
On a positive note, if you went through the refinance process and your only source of discontent is how they calculated escrows, that's a good thing.