See if the builder offers any closing cost credits for using their preferred lender, and ask for an upgrade credit. I rarely see builders negotiate on the purchase price of a home unless it's a quick move in home.... more
Listing agents, or anyone else for that matter, cannot force you to use specific lenders. I would be careful to call what they are doing illegal though. Only an attorney with full knowledge of your situation can advise on that.... more
Yes...as long as you can qualify on your own, you can buy separate property. You need to get a interspouse quit claim deed from your wife. If your current home is in both of your names, then you will need to qualify for both mortgages, a lender can tell you what you can qualify for on the new purchase and how the current home...rented or not....will affect that.