Question Details

Theace,  in Tampa, FL

Know any Realtor jokes?

Asked by Theace, Tampa, FL Sun Feb 17, 2008

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Answers

3
My favorite:
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This one is good too!
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Sorry, just a minute more
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Almost......Patience Timothy.....Patience
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More of a story than a joke but woth the wait
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A Realtor walks in to a bar.
Huddled in the corner is a group of "real estate investors" who just finished reading the latest and greatest real estate investment book ....ever. As it turns out, they were all so impressed by the book that they also bought the tapes and video series on betatmax. Not only this but, the reason they were in town was to attend the author and real estate investment guru's live seminar that each had paid over $2,000.00 to attend.

Ready to invest and with all the knowledge they could possibly need to succeed, they decided to pool what little money they needed to purchase their first property.
The excited "investors" overhead the Realtor speaking with the bar owner about selling his property and waived him over. The "investors" asked the Realtor if he knew of any properties they could buy in the area and get started on their way to fame and fortune.
The Realtor asked if they could schedule a time to discuss their intentions and real estate goals to which the knowledgeable investors responded with "If you wont help us right now, we will find someone who will!". With that, the Realtor left and wished them well.

An agent - mortgage broker and Tax preparer overheard the exchange and, seeing an opportunity to earn a great deal of money from the "savvy investors", ordered a round of drinks sent over and joined them to discuss their future together. They all laughed loudly about the incompetent Realtor who didn't know a deal when he saw one....HA, these investors were ready to buy and the Realtor could not even see it!
That same day, the agent(Not all agents are Realtors) - Mortgage Broker - Tax preparer, found them a deal they couldn't refuse. A seller willing to lower his already inflated price of $500,000.00 by $2500.00 !! Not only that but, their new found friend could get them into the house with NO MONEY DOWN and payments of only $1200.00 per month....an UNBELIEVEABLE DEAL!!! AND, he would also prepare their tax returns too....guaranteed them all huge refunds ;).

The lucky group of investors soon closed and even got some cash back! There agent was a real pal....knew everything about real estate too....just like them. What now....flip or rent? They decided to hold for 2 years and then sell. Their "tax guy" suggested they could then sell and avoid cap. gains....all they had to do is rent it out but, claim one of them had lived there for 2 years...they would need to sell in 2 years regardless because their mortgage had to be refinanced...you know....neg am and the re-set would be a doosey.. Another great idea from a real pro!

Well, 2 years passed, they had bought many a home using their guru techniques and the services of their friend the agent and...it was time to sell. They would soon be wealthy beyond their imagination.
But wait...they owed nearly 50k more than the home was now worth....if they could sell at all? How did this happen? They could leave the renter in place but, rents are only $1200.00 per month in the area and the mortgage payment will re-set to over $4000.00 per month....what to do? Refinance the home?....no one has credit, only one has a real job at Burger King and the liar loans are no longer available....damn that Realtor we mat at the bar....Damn him. Our friend the agent said that he would do something to mess with us and boy....did he. I was all the Realtor's fault....what to do?

Well, the FBI came knocking at their door. Seems the loan they got was for an owner occupied dwelling and the renter was not an owner.......the liar loan was a complete fraud and they wanted to know who had verified their employment.......the Irs wanted proof of the property taxes and mortgage interest that all had written off on their taxes and...there was more. Seems the cash back was illegal too.

All were indicted for various offenses and remained as penniless as when they started their "investor training".And, would eventually hand out in real estate forums bashing everyone for their problems. None would ever take responsibility for their own actions and would live out their lives as "drive through processing agents" for the rest of their lives...."Would you like fries with that?"

Anyone have a good "real estate investor" joke?
2 votes Thank Flag Link Sun Feb 17, 2008
What's the first thing a Realtor says after a nuclear holocaust?

"Now is a good time to buy"
1 vote Thank Flag Link Sun Feb 17, 2008
What is the thing thing a Realtor says upon being informed of a imminent nuclear holocaust?

"Now is the best time to buy"
0 votes Thank Flag Link Sun Feb 17, 2008
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