I feel your pain, my friend. Here is what I would suggest: call several lenders--not the one that has your mortgage right now. Explain the situation to them, and listen to their suggestions. They will want your loan, but will know what the issues are in Wilton, and have no reason to lie to you. If they can do a new loan--at a better rate then go ask your present lender for a refi.
But be ready to get some bad news. It's possible that the 20+% that you put down is long gone. Meaning that your property has no doubt depreciated 20 to 30 per cent, and for now at least, you will be actually asking for 100% financing. At issue is: banks CAN ask you to put more money down--although in this crazy economy they would have to be nuts to generate another non-producing loan. Anyway, that's why I suggest you start with dis-interested 3rd parties.
My best bit of advice is just pay your mortgage, enjoy the house and refinance in 3 years when this has all settled out.
You might be able to do a Streamlined refi which will not require you to obtain an appraisal. You may want one for your own purposes, but not for lending requirements.
However, at Flagstar, we order appraisals through national companies which allow us to use comps from outside a small geographic area if the property requires it.
If you have any questions, feel free to call me.
1) Did you check http://www.zillow.com for comps? 2) Call your local title company or log onto their website 3) Call a real estate agent, they can look on the local mls, but let them know up front & offer to pay/give them something for their time (I doubt you like to work for free?).