since I am typing this from my phone I don't have access to the proper link but if you google search NJ Truth in Renting Brochure you can get a better idea of your rights as a tenant.
I think you are confusing the 90 day rule which applies to the landlord informing the tenant within 90 days of lease end whether or not hey're going to renew lease , as opposed to the ownrt selling the property which common sense will tell you should begin as soon as the home is listed for sale.
The people told you about showings being 6 weeks to 2 months are probably thinking that the landlord needs that amount of time to get a new tenant. That is not the issue here. He is not looking for a new tenant, but a new owner and as soon as a property is listed, it needs to be shown.
As far as open houses and showings go, you need to read your lease for guidance.
If you would like a copy of the NJ landlord/tenant handbook, contact me and I can forward it to you.
First of all, I am sorry that you are having to go through this. As this is truly a legal question, the Real Estate community cannot give you any advice on your legal rights unless, of course, they are an attorney.
With that said, it all comes down to what is written in the Lease as this is the "Legal Agreement' between you and the landlord, however, only an attorney can provide you with the legal advice you require.
Katie, I truly commend you on wanting to be fair, and believe it should go both ways.
I wish you the very best, and the peace and quiet that you deserve.
Have a GREAT day!
Emil Veltre, RPh, MS, CDPE