You have every right to hire whoever you want to represent your interests. You are no longer married to what appears to be an unreasonable person and have no reason to be involved in a transaction you do not feel comfortable handling. You may save yourself some headaches and dollars in the future by following the advice of your bank. A reputable attorney or a Broker being involved should not complicate things.

Not sure how real estate transactions are completed in New Mexico but why not try hiring an attorney to look over the paperwork and advise you accordingly. Not sure you need a real estate agent at this point if you have already agreed to a purchase price and have negotiated any inspection items etc. I'm assuming that your new husband already knows that he is not paying over market value for the house. It may be more efficient to have an attorney assist you in filling out the paper work and advise you on any legal matters and documentation needed to make certain that the proceeds of the sale go to pay off debt owed by you and your ex. It is the norm to hire an attorney in Westchester County NY for all real estate transactions and if not the norm out your way, in this case where you have some extenuating circumstances you may be better off. Of course if the buyer hires the attorney or an agent, the buyer would be paying the costs associated with the fees involved.

It seems to me that if your new husband is willing to pay the costs associated for representation, whether that be a buyer's agent or an attorney, it shouldn't make any difference to your ex.

I believe at this time you should be looking to consult with a real estate attorney. You are basically transfering ownership on paper in comparison to when you are buying an unknown property where they are alot of unknowns and the process is more intricate. Both of you are entitled to legal representation and an attorney will be able to safeguard your rights and guide you.