Home Selling in 07410>Question Details

Hawke, Home Buyer in 07410

I hate the house we just purchased and am crying everyday. Is it insane to sell immediately?

Asked by Hawke, 07410 Mon Aug 17, 2009

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3 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 17, 2009
This is an old thread, but I'd like to briefly share my experience in case in helps anyone else. We bought a fixer upper on a beautiful piece of land. I was seduced by the view and the beautiful trees while thinking I could work on the house. I failed to think that while a view is wonderful, you have to LIVE in the house. I too cried, not realizing how awful the house was when we bought it. It didn't really look awful, but the construction of it was really bad so that when we tried to remodel, there was always a problem that had to be corrected before we could proceed. We lived in the house for seven years, and updated many things in that period of time. Well, to make a long story short, I cried the day we moved (due to my husband's job). After that long, even an awful house becomes your home. Every experience has silver linings though--I learned to be quite the DIYer. Now we are in the process of building a new house, and I learned so much about houses and costs and quality from that house, that I feel like a very informed buyer. Anyway, most people can't afford to sell immediately, so I would say that time will help your house feel more like a home. Just remember that it's the people you love that matter, not the house. Focus on them.
2 votes Thank Flag Link Sat Feb 8, 2014
I don't mind the house as much as I hate that my neighbors don't upkeep their properties. Living in an upkept townhouse that faces other townhouses that need work is depressing. Nonetheless, this is inspiring :)
Flag Fri Oct 3, 2014
Great story! It's exactly the sentiments I tried to share with the poster!
Flag Sat Feb 8, 2014
I wish i knew what to tell you I been in mine 3 weeks and i'm crying too, i made a terrible mistake i wanted to downsize but this is just too much i still have a lot packed away no built-ins I thought this house would work but i feel stuck. good luck!
1 vote Thank Flag Link Sun Aug 19, 2012
My simpathy is with you. I too am hurting after 6 months. We bought a lovely home inside but the city noise is making me sick. my husband is okay. can get used to it.
Flag Thu Apr 11, 2013
This is a response to Victor...how can you be so harsh? The statement was they bought the house because they thought they liked it. Don't be so closed minded to think that this is a stupid mistake and they should have known before closing that they hated the house. I did the same thing, and am trying to get out of our house...just bought the house 4 months ago. The neighborhood is not baby friendly, the yard is high maintenance, it is too far from everything (country feeling), and i feel isolated with my 18 month old. You sometimes need to make the mistake to know what you want. That's life, we will all get through it.
1 vote Thank Flag Link Mon Jan 10, 2011
i am not an agent but a first time home buyer....i've been living in my house for almost 4 months now...The first time home buyer tax credit was a big temptation...it was the middle of april when we got our offer accepted for the house that we thought we loved...as you can see, it was towards the end of april where you'd have to have an accepted offer to qualify for the first time home buyer tax credit....we just made....meaning, we rushed into the house...we only saw it once and went in and put in an offer right away....i cried everyday too...just writing this is making me cry....i miss my apartment....everything was perfect there...it had a perfect view and we lived upstairs....it was an open floor plan and here at the house, everything is enclosed....the bedrooms are far from the kitchen, i can't see the tv from the kitchen here...i miss having a patio window into a patio/deck....in which we had that at the apartment....i made a wish list of what i like in a home...but we went totally opposite....the only thing that we got from our wish list was 3 bedrooms, a two car garage, and a fenced in yard....we redid the bathroom and painted 3 rooms but it's still not making it feel like home...my husband and i went over our budget on this house too so we are broke from painting and remodeling the bathroom...the tax credit paid off some debt that we had so we have nothing left...i'm worried we might face foreclosure before we can even sell it...because we got the tax credit, we are bounded to this house for at least 36 months...or we'd have to pay back the tax credit....and at least 2 years to avoid capital gains...and because our loan is through WHEDA, we actually can't sell it before 9 years or we'll have to pay tax recapture...but that's only if our income doesn't jump 5% in the year that we want to sell but i don't think our income will jump so i'm not worried....for sure 3 years....i am so depressed....i don't have money left to buy things to make it feel more like home...we are just making it.....and that's what i am going to focus on....at least i am not the only one who feels this way....i don't know if my situation is different....i am bounded to this house for 3 long years that's for sure...even so, i am afraid how things will go when it comes time to sell....how long will it be on the market?....fees!.....how much will it cost?...will we take a loss?....wish i could turn back time and not rush into it...that $8000 helped pay off debt but we are broke anyways.....just making it....but no extra money to do anything...just bills bills bills!
1 vote Thank Flag Link Thu Sep 23, 2010
Sounds like my situation too. It's a fixer upper and I could easily sink $30,000 (new roof, new/repaired clapboards, interior/exterior painting, heating system, plumbing, etc.) into it just to make it decent but instead, I'm scrimping and saving just to buy curtains in a house I am only tolerating. The housing market in the Northeast is out of control expensive and I even had to go over asking price on this dive starter home. Thank God for Craig's List...I got kitchen cabinets and a great counter top for under $200 and cheap help where I can find it. ...I'll survive and so will you-hang in there!
Flag Sun Mar 2, 2014
It's been about two years since you wrote this. How did things turn out for you? Im kind of in the same situation you were in when you wrote your response. Thank you.
Flag Sun Oct 14, 2012
How long ago is "Just" as in Just Purchased?

A home purchase is not something that happens over night, did you only decide you hated the house after you bought it? I have to ask, what's wrong with the house?

Many problems, bad neighbors, bad person experience, bad house? It really is important to know, any buyer will ask so expect to answer (honestly).

If at all possible, I would have to suggest not selling so quickly unless you got it at a really good price and could possibly get your money back + commissions. In most cases a bank will not allow you to sell, actually will not allow the buyer to buy a home that was just purchased for a higher amount than it was just purchased for unless the seller can prove they purchased it "under" market value or made improvements and have receipts to prove it.

Most banks will also require at least a month or two to pass before you can resell, once again I'm talking about the buyers bank before they will approve a loan for such a house.

I'm sorry you bought a home you didn't like but if you hate it this bad, this soon you had to know before actually closing right?

Either way, Good Luck...
1 vote Thank Flag Link Wed Aug 19, 2009
I am in the same boat. I left a house that was almost paid for, worst part is I can't explain why I moved. I hate it here, it is a beautiful neighborhood but I've had nothing but trouble here. I am a single mom and, in retrospect, this is a horrible financial move. I can't explain my actions, this house is nothing that I would want. I have always been afraid of two things in a house, water & bugs. I've been here for a few months and I have had water pouring into my family room, town sewage backing into my basement for three days, & now cluster flies. All I do is cry, it's crippling me. I stand to lose a ton of money if I sell in one year of purchase. I'm trying to figure out how long I have to stay here to minimize my loss.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Mar 16, 2015
I'm curious to know how long you've owned it, what is making you sad and what were the reasons you decided to buy it? Could it be just the change? Moving is very stressful. Some people handle it differently and feel more emotional. My question is are you feeling sad about the house or just feeling sad?
0 votes Thank Flag Link Thu Feb 12, 2015
I'm not sure if you were responding to my post or not, but I'm going to assume you were. I've owned the house for 6 months. It's not the change, it's the neighborhood. Chickens live next door to me which causes my dog to bark which causes my neighbors to curse me out. BBQing the front yard, for heavens sake, use you're dang back yard, people yelling at their kids in their driveway like some kind of redneck. Junk cars on blocks and this is an upscale neighborhood, so I thought. The price tag for the home sure dictated that it was. Anyway, all of the above is NOT allowed as per the restrictions, which I thought when I bought in full force, but nooooooo, hasn't been active for years, so it's beautiful homes with trashy people. I can't stand it!!!! I cry everyday - I'm selling this spring at a loss of about $15K. Plan to rent a cheap apt until I can pay myself back the $15k, then I may buy again, but more likely not.
Flag Mon Feb 16, 2015
Very old thread, but I googled "i hate the house I just bought" and this popped up so I thought I would activate this thread because I am so there with you!

I too hate the house I bought, house okay, but the neighborhood really gets on my nerves. We have an HOA, I received the Restrictions at closing. But there is no board of directors, no dues are being collected and so it seems that everyone does what they want to. I would like to reactivate the Restrictions but can't find the bylaws and no one in the neighborhood wants them reactivated. I gave up a house that was virtually paid for thinking that I was moving up because the neighbor I sold in was being crime ridden. Boy was I wrong - I hate my house so much and I'm driving my husband nuts with my complaining. I dislike my neighbors and their chickens, which according to the covenants they are not allowed. I too am crying - I want so bad to sell the house but I would loose $20k and I cannot justify that much of a loss so I'm stuck and it is the most frustrating and a sickening feeling.

I really, really hate my house - and I'm a smart woman, bought and sold real estate many times and this is the first house I have ever owned that I have such a passionate dislike for.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Thu Feb 12, 2015
My husband and I purchased our first home a few months ago. I like the house and my husband is working so hard to fix it up (it needs some updating and previous owners didn't maintain well) The problem is that I regret moving so far away from our family. I Can't stand the thought of living here. We bought too much property and didn't expect the heat and electric to be so expensive either. We are already having a hard time with the cost of living here. Now all I can think about is moving back to the town we were living in. My husband is not happy, obviously. We have a usda loan so all of the closing costs were rolled in. If we can stick it out a year, will we have a chance of breaking even if we sell (considering the improvements we're making)?
0 votes Thank Flag Link Fri Jan 30, 2015
It's absolutely not crazy to want to sell. You need to love your home. I'd love to help you. Please feel free to contact me through my Trulia Profile.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Wed Sep 3, 2014
What ever happened? I just moved into a new house, & I'm crying every day & night. I'm miserable. My husband is so upset bc I'm "ruining" what should be the best time of our lives.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Tue May 20, 2014
my husband told me today that I was ruining his high that he should have for buying first home.I wake up every morning crying and I'm crying right now just hate this house and I think I knew before we closed but we had been looking for so long and needed to leave the place we were living in that we just kind of jumped in.don't know what to do with this. Does anyone know if its possible to lease this house and buy another house if we had the funds?
Flag Mon Dec 1, 2014
This happens a lot to people. We had our house for sale and the house next door was for sale. Smaller home with fireplace. The people bought that house because of the fireplace and realized later they could look right into their bedroom from the living room the house was that small. They later told us the mistake they made and would have rather had our home.
The second house we sold the same thing happened.
Why not sell if you really do not like it. It's better for you to have the right home.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Fri Aug 2, 2013
What happened....did we all fall into the lower interest rate and thought this so-called home would work? I will take me 200,000 to fix up this 600,000 home. Advantage--water and on one-acre. House ten years old...worst contracting work I have ever seen. Bad inspector (gave us are money back). Now there is an odor in the kitchen that is a sweet musky odor and no one can find it. I have even had underneath the house inspected and no mold. I have painted all the vinyl and particle board but it still smells. We don't even have a master bathroom as it had to be ripped out after Sandy and the house had to be jacked up....tell me about your woes...I have list that does not stop. Does anyone know about the odor. We are on septic and well but it is not coming from there...had that inspected too.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Fri May 10, 2013
Little late in my response. We have a terrible odor coming from crawl space.
Flag Fri Nov 22, 2013
since this question was posted just over 3 years ago, it would be interesting to find out what the poster ultimately did.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 20, 2012
It is not insane to sell a property you do not like. It might be insane to stay in the property thinking tomorrow will be better if there is no chance of that happening.

There is a certain monetary cost involved in changing properties. If this does not bother you than you are free to get something that works better for you.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Sun Aug 19, 2012
One option you may consider is to lease the property out until the market recovers and then you can sell the home.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Sat May 19, 2012
I really love the house but can't stand the neighbors!! called 911 3 times already.. Can't sell because of the market!! What do I do///
0 votes Thank Flag Link Fri May 18, 2012
Not if it will keep you from crying!
Web Reference: http://www.golftobeach.com
0 votes Thank Flag Link Wed Jan 19, 2011
I am so sorry to hear from the buyers who regret their home buying decisions. A certain amount of Buyer's Remorse" is to be expected. Long after the glow of the moment subsides, the realty of the responsibility and demands of home ownership set in. But dealing with this AND regrets about the home choice itself, it tough.

To those that have bought, I recommend taking a step back and remembering what caused you to buy the home in the first place. It sounds like more than a few were influenced by the tax credit. I had a buyer who was close to a similar experience - as the deadline approached, very thoughtful and measured review was turning into rapid fire decisions and offers on anything remotely close to a fit. The buyer missed the deadline and felt badly at the time - in hindsight it was lucky indeed. Prices continued to decline AND interest rates did as well - the combination of the two more than made up for the tax credit savings. When we went out for our first house shopping trip after, it was clear that everything we were seeing then was better than anything we saw at the end when the near frenzy of home buying had depleted inventory choices.

I suspect there are more than a few stories like yours out there. My suggestion is to remember what motivated you to buy the home in the first place and if those things still make sense to you, carry on. It may take some time, but I am optimistic that today's buyers will build equity in time. If they do not make sense, then crunch the numbers and if a change can be justified - ie, doe not deteriorate your situation more than the status quo, consider making a change.

Good luck to you all,
Jeanne Feenick
Unwavering Commitment to Service
Web Reference: http://www.feenick.com
0 votes Thank Flag Link Wed Jan 19, 2011
We just bought a house in north dakota. We moved from the twin cities, mn. We got first time home buyers too. We wanted to move back to be close to family. The market here is crap. All the houses need major updates! Everything is from the 60's, 70's, 80's and early 90's and still selling for around 140,000 to 200,000. If you want a new house, you will pay around 200,000 to 300,000 and they look like basic boxes! The pay for good jobs sucks! I work in healthcare and my hubby is working with a Master's degree. We bought the house that wouldn't make us house poor, but wasn't a complete dive. We bought a house from the 50's and are updating it. However, the neighborhood sucks and the people don't take care of their lawns or have any curb appeal. I am afraid it will ruin our chances of moving someday! Even if our house is nice, those around us don't care at all! I am not sure if it is the oil boom up here, but everything is out of hand. This state is becoming a wasteland of oil rigs, oil workers, wind farms, and powerplants! Yuck! The weather is worse than I can remember! I have major cabin fever and I don't even like our house! It's hard to even work on it in -30 temps and snow piled up to our roof! Why the hell did we move back here! I want to cry everyday about this decision that we made. We moved for family and so our parents could see their new grandbaby, but we never see them (no effort on their part). It's sad.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Tue Jan 18, 2011
So Hawke - since this question was resurrected, and you asked it almost 1 1/2 years ago.......do you like the house any better now?
Are you still living there?
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Jan 10, 2011
I wouldn't make any "snap" decisions. I would wait it out at least a few months, maybe a few seasons if you can manage it.

But if you're crying every day, based on how unhappy you are with the house you purchased, I think you would be insane to stay! (of course, be prepared to lose some money).

Good luck.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Jan 10, 2011
Alan May, Real Estate Pro in 60201
No I do not think so - in fact I just did the exact same thing!!! We just moved into our home a week ago and I know I made a huge mistake - I hate the house and do not like the area we moved into to - I feel like we are in the middle of no where. Naturally my husband is not happy and wants me to give it a chance but I cry all the time I hate it that much. We had already sold our home and had not found another house and when we saw this builders model we jumped at it - what a mistake - in hind sight I know we should have rented - HUGE regret - I wish I could sell it and move out tomorrow I am distraught and very unhappy.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Sat Sep 12, 2009
First decide if your financial situation is such that you can afford to take a loss.

As you know, most buyers or their agents will have access to the public records indicating exactly what you paid for the property and, of course, they would be unwilling to pay more within such a short timeframe. Also, some potential buyers would tend to wonder why you are selling the property so quickly. They might jump to the conclusion that there is something wrong with the property and shy away from it as a result. Thus, be prepared to provide a reasonable answer as to why you are selling so quickly. You may have to accept less than what you paid depending on the market conditions. In my area, anyway, most buyers are looking to get a good deal. Your agent can provide you with more specifics regarding the costs to sell your home.

If you don’t want to take a loss, your best bet is to try and remedy the situation by adjusting to what you like and what you don’t like. Try to improve what you don’t like without spending a lot of money. If your dislikes are cosmetic perhaps an interior decorator or home stager can help improve the décor. Also, as mentioned in a previous answer, give yourself some time to get to know your neighbors. You may have to reach out and introduce yourself to some of your neighbors as people are busy and may not get around to stopping by on their own.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Tue Aug 18, 2009
I am so sorry you are unhappy.

Why do you hate it? Maybe you just need to give it some time to get adjusted. Moving can be very stressful - the entire homebuying process is stressful. The house probably feels strange to you, but that will change in time.

My advice would be to take a deep breath, and give yourself a few months to settle in. Make an effort to meet the neighbors...........learn your way around the neighborhood.
Maybe some new decorating or painting will help you feel more at home......will make it feel more like YOUR home.

If, after several months you are still so unhappy, then speak with your agent, and see what the market conditions are. I don't see any realistic possiblity that you will be able to sell and not take a loss. Even if you get what you paid, there are real estate transfer fees, commissions, attorney fees and further moving expenses. Is it really worth it to go through all of that?
Can you afford to take a loss?
Only you will be able to decide.

Feel free to reach out to me if I can be of any help.
Hope things improve for you.

Debbie Rose
Prudential NJ Properties
email me at: Debbie.Rose@PrudentialNewjersey.com
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 17, 2009
Before you sell. It's best to figure out what you want. Create a list of your goals. Be sure to cover all the areas of your life.

If a magical genie popped up in front of you and said, "I will grant you an unlimited supply of wishes," what would they be?

Nothing is too great or too small.

Hmmm...gets you thinking, doesn't it!

What do you desire most in life?
What experiences would you like to have?
What kind of health and fitness levels would you like to achieve?
What quality of relationships would you like to experience?
Where would you like to travel?
How much money would you like to have?
How would you like to spend it?

I'm looking into Feng Shui and how to create a healthier living and working environment. I found a neet website that you can find in my Services section on my website. She has quite a few videos, tips and suggestions for creating the optimum environment for you. Since you just moved in, it couldn't hurt to try. Feel free to contact me:)

I do not practice real estate in your area. I'm sure if you can't work it out any number of these fine Realtors can assist you with your sale.


Carolyn Fenton
Realtor, GREEN
RE/MAX Ridge Real Estate
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 17, 2009

is there anything that can be done to improve your home to change your mind? if not, you have to decide if the possibility of taking a loss is worth it for you. on the positive side, Fair Lawn homes are selling. We have closed on over 90 homes in the past 4 months. so, if you decide to sell your home, now is a good time as there is a great deal of activity in Fair Lawn.
I live and work in Fair Lawn, so I am very familiar and knowlegable with this market. please contact me so I can explain your options.

Best Regards,


Weichert Realtors
9-02 Saddle River Rd.
Fair Lawn, NJ 07410
201-794-7722 ext. 113
Web Reference: http://www.JOHNBRESSOR.com
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 17, 2009
Dear Hawke,
I am sorry to hear of your dilemma. Maybe you can try and figure out the things that bother you and work on improving them.
Is it your new house you hate, or is it because of the the place you left that makes you unhappy?
If you are truly unhappy, then selling may be your only solution. Fair Lawn is a town that always has a lot of buyers. I have listed and sold houses there and I would be happy to speak to you about possible solutions to your problem.
Please feel free to contact me through my webstie.
Web Reference: http://www.sharonkozinn.com
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 17, 2009
Well that does not sound too good, of course you can sell but you will not make any money and you will occur expenses like Real Estate commission if you list it with a realtor so you may loose in the process. If you purchased a house very cheap you may loose less money, at the moment the housing market is slower due to the end of the season, current market conditions and price depends on many factors, but I hope things will get better and that you can stay. I guess you rushed into a purchase. Feel free to e-mail me at mia@villonrealty.com so I can give you an idea of what your house is now worth. Sometimes I wish there was a way people could test out the house for a few days to see if they really like to live there or not.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 17, 2009
FYI - The correct word is "lose" as In "you may lose less money". The other one is used in the context of "My belt is too loose." (I only wish it was so!) :)
Flag Thu May 31, 2012

It is not insane at all, you are having buyers remorse, and it happens all of the time. Someone else might just love your home, so go for it! Also, the longer you stay there the more attached you get, and you just might not care if it doesn't sell.

Good Luck!
Web Reference: http://www.abemills.com
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 17, 2009
The expenses associated with a sale are considerably higher than on the buy side. Also with the market in the state it is in its highly unlikely you will be able to get the price you paod for it and depending on how much down payment you put in you may even be underwater not to mention the fact than the downpayment money has disappeared and you will not be able to buy again until you have saved a down payment.
Sorry to be brutal but facts are facts.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 17, 2009
I wouldn't call you insane, even if you were. :)

I just wonder if the things you hate about the house could be changed or corrected.

What is it that you hate about the house?

It seems like you would probably be taking a bit of a loss to sell a house immediately after purchasing it, but if your happiness can be achieved by doing so, that does not seem insane. It seems more insane to stay in a house which you hate so much it makes you cry!
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 17, 2009
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