No, that's not how Realtors make money. The earnest money could end up with you or it could end up with the would-be buyer, or it could be split. That's it. No way can the Realtor get his/her hands on it. The Realtor makes money from the commission you've agreed to pay.
I'm not permitted--ethically--to interfere in your relationship with your Realtor. So, umm, I can't say what I might like to say. But if you've had 3 contracts fall through, you don't know where the money's gone, and you can't get answers from your current agent, you might consider the possibility that when your listing agreement expires that you at least consider other agents.
Hope that helps.
I used to have many buyers call me after signing offers nly to tell them that the property wouldn't appraise or that there were liens, etc against the property that needed correcting prior to closing. Many buyers don't want to deal with the added headaches. Three offers accepted by you seems wierd that all three would-be buyers walked away...
When you sign a release of monies from escrow, escrow refunds the earnest money deposit back to the buyer. No monies go into the agents pocket unless the deal closes.
As an agent, I prefer to not have my buyer walk from a contract to purchase. We as agents do NOT get paid unless the transaction completely closes - funds and records.
Also, not sure why you're out so much money unless you had repairs done - and in actuality would have to be done for most buyer's so it's not really a loss.
Is your property a Short Sale? If so, buyer's do walk throughout the process. Many get tired of waiting. As hard as we try to convince them to wait it out, it's realistically their decision. Some agent's have specifics regarding "release of deposit" back to the buyer. Some attach Addendum's whereas the buyer agree's to relinquish their deposits if they walk. Contractually, that is difficult to hold them to.
My suggestion would be to discuss this issue with your agent and ask them for their advice. There maybe a way to hold the buyer liable in your state if they back out of their contract.