1. some of the fees are fixed, some are a percentage of the home price/loan amount. As an example, if your purchase price is around $150k, then your fees should be in the 3.5 - 4% range...if your price is $300k, then you're looking at roughly 3%
2. Paying points to lower your rate is an optional cost. A point is equal to 1% of your loan amount....if you're planning on staying in the home for an extended period of time, then paying points could be justified. Depending on the size of your loan, paying 2 points could nearly double your closing costs!
3. Lastly, costs/fees will vary depending on the specific entities involved in your transaction: your mortgage company/lender/appraiser/title company......these are the major sources of fees.....then there's miscellaneous fees like HOA dues/ Mello Roos fees that may or may not be present in your transaction...
Though this may get a little confusing, I'd be happy to review your situation so I can give you specific feedback!
I don't know what the average amount buyers are paying - depending on your market, if there are multiple offers, then seller's don't have to pay these fees to be competive. In slower markets, or for a property that has been harder to sell, sellers will often agree to pay up to 3%. Lending guidelines vary, but most lenders will allow a seller to pay 3 - 6% toward the buyers closing costs, depending on the buyers type of loan.
Grace Olson-Bonilla, http://www.SoCalGrace.com