It's sad to say but there are a lot of lenders out there that will haphazardly issue a pre-approval letter without completing any due diligence. They let you the client spend money on earnest money deposits, inspections and appraisals without having a clue if you will even qualify. Happens every day.
I am sorry to hear that you have to deal with such frustrations but I hope you will eventually accomplish your goal of becoming a home-owner. In the meantime you need to familiarize yourself with a proper Pre-Approval. Take a minute to read this: http://www.trulia.com/blog/elliott_r_oliva/2011/12/pre-apppr
For questions or concerns please contact me at your convenience. Thank you and best wishes!
Elliott R. Oliva
I'm with you. I'd be a little ticked about all of it. In your shoes, I would step back reconsider everything and then go ahead when you're ready. There is an old saying, "No matter how far you've gone down the wrong road, turn back." Sounds like you're not OK with the road you're on.
Best of luck and let me know if I can help.
Envision Real Estate, LC