I hope you have a job lined up in Charlotte, because with high unenployment and hiring freezes it is very hard to land a good paying job down here. Don't believe the hype about North Carolina.
The cost of living is not really that much lower, the only things that are cheaper here are home prices and property taxes. Albeit in some Charlotte neighborhoods, Myers Park, the prices of homes are in the multi-millions. So don't drink the kool-aid from your friends that all houses are cheap here, because they are not. There are options in all price points.
Also, so many transplants get homesick for the way things were done in NJ/NY and have problem adapting to the southern way of living. The transition is not a bed of roses.
To answer your question the very best Charlotte suburb is Myers Park and Eastover!
I think the OP asked this in this forum because since there is a massive exodus of NJ/NY people migrating to North Carolina he/she felt that maybe someone would have some idea.
Nonetheless, moving to Charlotte, Raleigh, or Durham or other any place in North Carolina will be a huge change.
There are certain real estate agents in Charlotte and Raleigh that are NY/NJ transplants themselves whose niche is helping other transplants make sense of it all.
"What difference does it make what town you are moving FROM if you want to go to North Carolina. "
Mary, it makes a complete difference! If you are coming from Northern New Jersey and move to a rural area in North Carolina you will be in for a cultural shock of your life no matter how much you want a slower place of life.
Or if you are coming from let's say a little itty-bitty town of Pittsboro, NC with 3700 people I would not recommend northern NJ. I would recommend properties in more laid-back South Jersey. Any realtor worth their salt sould know this.
Try and find a town that meets your needs, your finances and what works best for you. Can you start online but asking in New Jersey won't provide you with the answers you need to make an informed decision.