Home Buying in Vista>Question Details

Frustrated, Home Buyer in Vista, CA

bought a home with my girlfriend in CA. now going to separate after 5 yrs.What is the best course of action?

Asked by Frustrated, Vista, CA Mon Aug 6, 2012

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The first thing you should do is find your friends and go out and have some fun. Break ups suck but they are worth it. I have never heard of someone call a girlfriend break up, a "Separation"
Sell the property and move on. Keeping the property will result in seeing your ex with someone she met at someplace and you will not do well with it. Be civil and get it all over with asap and don't look back. Don't make her jealous or angry. Refrain from coming home drunk trashed or wasted. Just do the routine, get it sold, move, and call it good. Then you can work on getting over your ex. soon she wont be a factor at all or part of your thoughts and you will be ready to move on with someone who is special to you, and believe it or not,... you will more than likely find someone much better suited for you, and you her. If you know it is over, the word you need to seek in your mind is "Apathy" towards the ex. Do not start dating before you leave. Even if she has. Play it cool like it doesn't matter. Many people thrive on drama. Remove the drama real fast by not caring. Apathy shall set you free. Be mind full that she may try to cause drama to see a reaction from you. Don't fall for it. let her push the buttons all day long. Apathy is the best way to go. Oh ya Sell it forget keeping it or renting it or buyout ect somehow you will be stuck with her and that is not healthy. Sell it and move on.

Harold Sharpe - Broker
So Cal Homes
(951) 821-8211
harold@socalhomeselling.org
http://www.socalhomeselling.org
California Department of Real Estate Broker License # 01312992
0 votes Thank Flag Link Tue Aug 7, 2012
Dear Frustrated: I am a Certified Collaborative - Real Estate Divorce Agent, certified through The Vanderbuilt Law School and offer you some assistance. One important item is whether both of you are on the mortgage? A person can be removed off the title, but not the mortgage unless the mortgage is re-fied. That would mean that the both parties are financially responsible regardless of what happens to the title. Sometimes, the simplest action is to sell the home, divide the equity according to your understanding and more on. If that is not possible due to mitigating circumstances, there are other options to you that we could discuss. Should you wish to pursue this, please let me know. Thank you, Maria Weiss

Prudential CA Realty
858-248-0863 or maria@mariaweiss.com
DRE #01368844
Web Reference: http://www.mariaweiss.com
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 6, 2012
There is a good plan of action for every situation...let's find out what your is. I am a local Realtor that specializes in Vista. Let's determine the value of your home and that will help point you in the right direction. I can do a free no obligation Comparative Market Analysis for you. There is a shortage of homes in Vista, so selling your home should not be an issue. Happy to help~

Chris Gorno
DRE# 01499885
Windermere Real Estate SoCAL
http://www.savemyhouseonline.com
(619)788-4345
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 6, 2012
Sorry to hear that. This happened to me a long time ago, but it was relatively easy to resolve because we had a written agreement going into the purchase on what would happen in such an eventuality. I'm assuming that is not the case here and that both of you are on title, what do depends a lot on your value position.

Your options have been outlined below:
1. Sell it
2. One buys the other out
If doing either 1 or 2 find 2 or 3 neutral real estate people to give you an idea of market value - appraisals are usually useless for real world value - then decide if selling makes sense.
3. Keep and rent it out - if you do this make certain you have an agreement moving forward.
4. If it's not worth selling, you want to keep it but you can't live there together, perhaps one of you stays and you make an agreement on how/when to sell.

Best of luck
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 6, 2012
Frustrated
Sorry it is not working out. I would first of all recommend that you get a market evaluation of the house to determine your financial situation. You may be under water on this home based on the time when you purchased it.
After the value is determined, you can decide whether or not it is best to sell or hold the property. One of you may want to continue to live in the home, you may want to rent it out or it may be best to sell it and completely remove any connections that the two of you have to this property and each other.
If you would like for me to prepare a market analysis on this home, please contact me.
Best of luck

Local Help with Your Real Estate Needs

Jerry Heard
Your Broker
The San Diego Property Shop
http://www.TheSanDiegoPropertyShop.com
jerry.sdps@cox.net
Direct 619-920-9796
Office 619-269-5545
Fax 619-269-9168
CA DRE # 00648687
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 6, 2012
Frustrated...
Unfortunately, you've found the dangers of buying with a friend. As Laura points out, there are lots of options, and what will work best for you will depend heavily on the situation. Is the house worth less than you owe? Is the market moving in your neighborhood? Do either of you want to keep the house? If so, can you afford to? Lots to consider. Figure out the answers to these types of questions and then you'll be ready to start figuring out how best to proceed. Best of luck...
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 6, 2012
Hi Frustrated,

You can both agree to sell it. Or, you can both agree to keep it and rent it out. Or, you can both agree that one of you will live in it and the other one move out. If you decide to sell it and it's worth less than what you owe on it, you will have to see if you qualify for a short sale - your lender will have to approve the short sale. You should contact a Realtor to assist you - they will be able to give you a better idea on what your options are once they have more information from you on your situation.

Good luck.

Shanna Rogers
SR Realty
http://www.RealtyBySR.com
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 6, 2012
One of you can buy the other out, you can sell, one can and one can leave until its market value if it's not , or you may have to do a short sale. Contact a local Realtor and discuss it with them and your girlfriend.
Good luck.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Aug 6, 2012
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