The Lender is responsible for giving you a GFE; Good Faith Estimate, which shows all the fee, interest rate, etc that make up the LOAN.
The Title Company is responsible for giving you the HUD1; which shows all the Title fees, Policy fees, Taxes, Insurance, etc which will tell you how much money you need to bring at Closing.
Ask your Realtor about your Title Company.
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If you are providing the lender the same type of 'reliable' data you provided in your question ($250 for a survey) I can see significant problems in your future. Soliciting information from stranger off the internet is great for establishing a 'wide based,' nearly irrelevant set of data, but only the naive would view such data as actionable.
If you are in over your head, it best to acknowledge the fact and take corrective action.
Otherwise, turn to the professionals with whom you are working. Second guessing and interjecting obstacles obtained from internet data solicited from strangers will prove counter productive.
Please share with us how you arrived at the price you offered for this home?
In Northern Virginia, a survey even for a town house costs at least $300.00, and $450.00 is not out of line for a single family home, especially if your lender requires that one or more iron pipes,, sometimes called monuments, be set. Northern Virginia is a high-cost area. For this reason, nationwide Internet cost estimates are worse than useless here.
A good lender will give you a GFE (Good Faith Estimate) rounding up the numbers as much as possible. This is to protect you. If a lender tells you the cash you need at settlement is $10,000 and you end up needing $9500 you are happy. But if they tell you $10,000 and you need $10,750 you are not happy.
Since you have not settled you have not been charge anything yet so the $450 for the survey is right now likely just an estimate. The settlement office will be able to tell you what the exact cost will be for the survey. Give them a call regarding that cost.
If a lender underestimates your closing costs by too much there are penalties for them, so it is in their best interest to overestimate everything.
The same goes for interest rates, too. Before you have a contract, you cannot lock your interest rate. A good lender will qualify you on a slightly higher interest rate than the rate you see posted today again to protect you. They are budgeting for worst case. Better to qualify you on 4% and later get you 3.75% than to qualify you at 3.5% and later tell you it is 3.75%.
The settlement office takes all the figures from the contract, costs from the lender, and costs from places like the county and state for taxes, surveyor, termite inspection, etc and put it all into the final figures.
Hope this helps and best of luck in your new home.
If you don't...then this is where you are..asking questions on a web site.
A good lender will have explained these things to you and you would also have chosen a reputable title company that would work in conjunction with the lender in providing numbers/costs/ etc.
Prices will vary..as will quality. So if you know the numbers in advance from the title company..these issues will not come up. Sounds to me as though you have not been schooled very well or you do not trust the folks you have hired..Or BOTH..
Time is running short but I suggest you speak with the lender and let him know your expectations. It's not too late to get a new lender! But you would have to go with a really good one who can get it done to meet the closing date.
Best of Luck.
Erik J. Weisskopf, ABR,CDPE,CRS,GRI
Re/Max Distinctive Real Estate, Inc