I would suggest you consider Durham, Cary, possibly parts of north Chatham county (Specifically Briar Chapel), possibly Chapel Hill.
I'd like to speak with you as price point, school systems, where you and/or your husband will be working all are going to factor in. You may contact me directly through my profile here on Trulia if you'd be interested in speaking a little.
I would be happy to assist you any way I can. There are multiple great towns, most of which have been mentioned in some of the suggestions already posted. In no specific order here are a few things that may help narrow down the town that best fits your needs.
1) What you see as a reasonable commute time to the area you work, or foresee yourself working.
2) Quality of Schools
3) Your Budget
Holly Springs, Cary, and Apex come to mind. You may also consider Garner, and Fuquay Varina.
Best of luck to you! It's a great area!
Jason Keller, Realtor
If I can be of any further service please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
All the answers below are good information but I just wanted to add you may want to check out this website for area specific information. http://www.city-data.com/
If you are not already working with an agent, I'd be happy assisting you and your family in finding a home to meet your needs. Please select my contact button for email directly to me.
So you are considering the big move to NC! First, let me say, "Welcome!" Second, let me say that this is one the best place to move to in the Country! Yes, I can personally qualify that statement because I relocated here with my family in 2006. This area has everything to offer: major employment (jobs), affordable housing (low property taxes compared to NJ), and a great place to raise a family (personal experience). There is so much information to cover with you regarding the different areas within the "Raleigh Area" that it really is a Client-to-Agent conversation. Many of my Clients, who have relocated from the NJ/NY area, have ended up in N.Raleigh, Western Cary, and Apex. Hope this helps!
The 1/2 acre home-site can be somewhat elusive for homes built in the past 10 years. I briefly looked in MLS for something in line with what you want (only properties with in-ground pools), and the results are somewhat limited. Budget is going to come into play. I do work for a builder selling new homes only, but plenty of good real estate people will answer your question and offer their services. More than likely, you may have to find a home, and build the pool after the fact.
To find the home-site size you want, you may have to look in areas that are 30 minutes or so outside of "Raleigh"
Fuquay Varina, Holly Springs, Wake Forest etc... are towns you may want to start researching.
The higher your budget can go, the easier the search will get (This is pretty much with anything though, right?)
Because of restrictions of State and Federal Law I can not address your subject directly. When I look at your requirements I can think of several communities that potentially have homes that meet your criteria. I would be honored to assist you with your move as I did a similar move from NY many years ago. Please give me a call so we can discuss your needs more fully and I can setup a specific search around those criteria.
Jim Bartlett - Cary Home Seller
"Simplifying Real Estate"