JB: I have been in real estate 9 years. During this period, I have seen almost as many failed or mixed up transactions due to real estate agent conflicts as just stubborn buyers and sellers. I will make a judgmental statement: More transactions succeed when the 2 agents at least know each other then when they don't.

WHY? Maybe your perception -- You lose and the agents cash their checks with a smile -- is right. I am sure this happens. But 98% of the time, it is the opposite. The agents who trust each other’s expertise and ability to professionally convey the wishes of their clients will do much better for BOTH of their clients then if they did NOT know each other. Everybody wins. They don’t have to go through that “first meeting posturing” process where there is a high percentage of failure. I would much rather negotiate with an agent I know (even if I personally don’t like them) then someone I don’t know.

Think about it for a moment. Who do you go back to time after time for advice (pharmacy, doctor, lawyer, banker, supervisor, manager)? Sure - the one you know (and hopefully respect and trust). In my mind, that is the better situation for you to be in. I worked for physicians for 34 years in a previous life. I can assure you that when the people in the OR (anesthesiologist, scrub nurse, circulating nurse and physician assistants) know each other, things go a lot smoother – for the patient. Why should real estate be any different?

I serve on our local Association’s Board of Directors and also the ethics hearing panel. Many of the problems I see result from a pure lack of knowledge on the part of the agents. AND from differences of opinion over what should and should not be (when the agents who did not know each other somehow got confused and thought THEY were their clients). The clients make the decisions – not the real estate agents

Sun May 25 2008, 04:21

Hi JB,

First of all, my condolences to your family.

Now, onto the community agent's comment about " that they are not going to hold you to everything"....

You are VERY wise to doubt that remark and look straight at the words on the paper. I'm surprised she would say something like that, to be perfectly honest. A comment like that seems pretty fraught with potential liability. Yikes.

We look forward to your questions about your house sale, and... best of luck to you in your continued search!

Fri Oct 5 2007, 20:27

Hello! I'm sorry for the delay in my response, but we had a sudden death in the family. All of your answers have been very helpful to us in making our decision and I wanted give you all an update. We decided to move forward with Realtor # 2. We really felt comfortable with her and her knowledge of the area. At present it looks like the new home community will be a bust :-( After carefully reading through the HOA rules we feel the community is just too restrictive and not child friendly. Come on! You want to change a bush in your own yard you need approval first - not something an avid gardener wants! The community agent of course says that they are not going to hold you to everything, but in our mind if it's in contract someone can if they want to! We are now going to focus on preparing our home to hit the market in June - I better post in the selling area as I have no idea in what order to do some of our repairs or if we should get an inspector first. Thanks again for all your help. What a super group here!

Sat Sep 22 2007, 06:35

Hi Jb,

If you have to have a Realtor represent you and Realtor #2 was "recommended" by the builder, I would maybe have concern. But, you were out looking with Realtor #2 in other areas and it just so happens that this Realtor, whom you like and prefer, knows the builder.

I would tell Realtor #2 why you would like to choose her/him and that you are feeling a little tentative about the fact that (s)he knows the builder. Let her/him convince you that "your best interest is their first priority" (that's actually the motto I live by and I even put it on my cards and website :) ). If (s)he doesn't seem sincere or makes you still unsure, pass her/him by. If you feel comfortable with her/his response, go forward.

Let us know how it goes!

Cathi Weaver

Fri Aug 24 2007, 21:12

This could actually work in your favor but there is a caveat. Please make sure that the agent you like is willing to work with you as a BUYER'S agent. The laws regarding what we call "agency" vary from state to state. For example, I am licensed in NY. In NYS the default is that the agent works for the SELLER unless you and the agent sign an agency agreement that the are working for the buyer. In CT (where I am getting my reciprocity) the agent that works with the buyer is a BUYER'S agent unless otherwise specified. Make sure that in this case your agent is working as a buyers agent. This is not trivial. Most people think that their agent is working for them when quite often, they are actually representing the seller.

If you are working with a buyer's agent, then they have a fiduciary obligation to represent you and your interests first. Their knowledge of the seller will help him/her in putting together a deal that will secure you the home you want for the best possible price.

I'll give you an example. Just recently I was negotiating a sale where the seller was also the agent. I had never dealt with this agent before. He turned out to be a very bad apple and the "boiler plate" contract he presented my buyer's attorney had riders that made offered my buyers ZERO protection against shoddy workmanship on a renovated condo. When I confronted the agent with the riders, he was not only unwilling to negotiate, he tried to claim they were normal when they were anything but. Had I KNOWN this agent prior to the transaction, I would have realized that potential problems loomed and would have taken steps in advance to ensure that the contracts were something my people could actually sign.

Fri Aug 24 2007, 20:52

Great question....I like the go with your gut answer below.. You might also express your concerns to the realtor you like and see what they say. I personally know lots of people in the community and lots of builder reps. That doesn't prevent me from working the best deal on behalf of my clients. I owe loyalty to the client not to the builders. Sometimes I feel like I get good inside information or a better deal sometimes when I know the rep vs not. Sometimes they'll alert us to specials they're getting ready to run or other items that will work in your favor. Good luck. Make sure you take the Realtor of your choice to the builder the next time you visit. The sooner you get them in the process the better for you. Some builders want you to bring the Realtor on the first visit to them, but there are normally ways to work around this.

Fri Aug 24 2007, 19:59

Go with your gut - and you may have an advantage with the fact that Realtor #2 may know how the listing agent works deals.

Thu Aug 23 2007, 07:29

I would use your gut feeling and go with the Realtor you felt best about as this will be a long relationship with them. As your Realtor they owe you their allegiance.

Wed Aug 22 2007, 23:13

Choose the Realtor that you are most comfortable with. They owe a fuduciary responsibility to you.

Wed Aug 22 2007, 23:05

As the other agents have pointed out, knowing the other agent or party to the transaction can be an asset also. It would be unusual in a community, especially a small community, for real estate professionals NOT to have had some contact with each other, or be friends or acquaintances. They should both behave professionally, though. When two parties are in a courtroom situation, it isn't unusual for both side's attorneys to know each other! BUt once they plead their cases they are all for their respective client.

Wed Aug 22 2007, 21:03

Recently I had a tough negotiation with mulitple bids. I represented the seller. An agent who represented one of the buyers was someone I had only very casually known. During a month long, plus of tedious negotiations between the seller and mulitple buyers, I got to know this agent quite well. My respect level escalated to astonishing heights based upon her diligence, market knowledge, dedication to her client, integrity and persistence. Ultimately, her buyer did not get the property. But, my respect for her as a competitor is immense. The admiration actually forged a new friendship.

If we were on opposite sides of the table again tomorrow, each of us would advocate just as strongly today as we did during our last negotiation.

The people who I have come to know and like the best in this business are the ones who are my toughest adversaries in a professional way.

The friendship of two professionals will not compromise their professionalism or dedication to their respoective clients.

If you have a concern, address it directly. The way in which Realtor 2 answers may provide all the confidence you need to go forward. From reading your desctiption, you want to trust Realtor 2, you just need reassurance. There's nothing wrong with asking for that. I do not think it is inappropriate to address this directly. I suspect the result will be positive. Please let us know.

Wed Aug 22 2007, 19:49

Jb, Looks like the consensus is it would be fine to use Realtor #2. The fact that she has a past relationship with the builder could work as much in your favor as anything. If they had a good relationship with the builder. It is her responsibility to have your best interst in mind on every aspect of negotiating a deal. I agree with Chris that you should be upfront with the Realtor and let her know you have a few reservations about their relationship. If her response does not put you at ease, then I would think twice!

Wed Aug 22 2007, 14:16

Regardless of the relationship of either 1 or 2 to the builder - you need to go with person your "gut" tells you will do what is right by you.

Personality and character come into play when choosing the realtor that is right for you.

Does your personality meld with one of the agents? Do you believe the character of the person & feel that he/she will be honest and forthright - fiduciary responsiblity aside. You must be able to trust and have confidence that this person will not stray from loyalty to you and you alone.

The biggest mistake you will make in this whole transaction is not listening to voice inside you. And once you make up your mind - stick with it. When or if things get rough - remind yourself why you chose this person and let him/her know if you are getting uncomfortable with any part of the transaction.

New Home builds are dicey - depending on the corner of the nation you are in. You have to have someone experienced in the "art" of building from the ground up. Even if it's with a nationally recognized builder or a small local specialty one.

The one thing you said that brings it home is "it is a must to have a Realtor represent you". We have had questions posted here by those who did not go that route and found that although charming and helpful, on-site agents have their own fiduciary loyalty - to the builder - not you.

My best wishes for you on this great adventure you have taken on. There is nothing more rewarding than watching your home be built to your specifications. Enjoy the process - but hold on tight - it's gonna get bumpy in places. Be ready!

Wed Aug 22 2007, 14:10

It is Reltor #2's Fiduciary Duty to protect YOUR interests. It is not uncommon in the real estate industry to have a successful agent know and have worked with builders in their community. I agree that it can be beneficial if the builder has had a positive experience with your agent. Good Luck in your home purchase.

Wed Aug 22 2007, 14:00

Dear Jb,
I would hope that Realtor #2 would be professional and work with you to get you the best deal. Since the builder isn't listed with Realtor #2 it might even give the agent more incentive to work harder for you to show his/her negotiating prowess.

You might want to talk to Realtor #2 and discuss your concerns.

Good luck and hope everything works out well!

Chris Tesch
RE/MAX Bryan-College Station

Wed Aug 22 2007, 12:50

Jb (hey, I remember you...),
I'm glad you're using this site to your advantage (and learning good stuff! tell your friends!) Stick with REALTOR #2--your comfort level with your agent is important. A good real estate professional networks extensively and probably knows many REALTORs in town. Unless you have real cause to believe something if afoul, the simple fact that they know one another is of absolutely no concern. When you sign a buyers agency agreement, that REALTOR is responsible for your best interests. Period. The old buddy angle won't fly in this case. REALTOR #2's license and reputation are on the line. I hope that helps! Best of luck!

Wed Aug 22 2007, 12:47

The flip side is agent #2 might also be able to use the previous relationship to your advantage. When I have a good working relationship with the agent on the other side of the transaction, it often helps expedite things and keeps negotiation from becoming contentious. I know which buttons to push, and how to best serve my client if I know the other party. If you prefer agent #2 to agent #1, don't look for ways to talk yourself out of it. If that agent strikes you as the superior agent, your interests will be better protected regardless of