I agree with Michael. You need the advice of an attorney. Your problem cannot be solved by volunteer opinions obtained over the internet.
If your cause of not closing in time was due to lending issue (or any issue), you should cancel contract before loan (or related) contingency deadline, IF you put loan contingency in your CAR standard contract IF you use one.
'Buyer to behave' note doesn't need your signature to 'agree' and escrow instructions follow the purchase contract you both signed in the very beginning.
Being said that, if you hire an attorney and keep arguing with seller, then next buyer would be hesitate to move on knowing there is a pending litigation. This may cause seller to negotiate with you, let's say refund some of your deposit so that he can move ahead.
The seller can't just cancel the contract without issuing such notices to give the buyer the chance to make good on the provisions of the contract.
Further, both sides should agree in writing to the cancellation of escrow and how the escrow money is disbursed.
Finally, did the both parties agree to the liquidation clause in the contract per paragraph 25?