To start, you can have a commute within an hour train ride to Penn Station from towns like Summit and New Providence. Check out the link below for NJ school rankings:
One man's junk is another man's treasure. What is ideal to you may not be ideal to me or the next person.
It is up to you to research the towns and see which ones fit your criteria. It is time consuming and not easy, but if you are serious about finding your dream home in a great neighborhood you will find the work is worthwhile.
You can find some links to good websites that will help you in your quest on my website (link below).