Great question ! If you are not on the loan, you are not building your credit. Women in the past were always not on the loan now it is best for both parties to build credit together. Remember never miss or have a payment on the house late if the payment is due on the first have the payment arrive before the due date. This will help build better credit and a higher credit scores.
You do need to be named on several lines of credit to keep up your score. The interesting thing in recent years is that your score is partially based on how much you owe in relationship to how much you are qualified to owe. That means that it is better to have 3 or more credit lines with all of them owing less than 45% of the maximum than to have to have 3 lines but all of the money owed on 1 of the credit lines so that the percentage is over 45%. They used to tell you to consolidate all of your credit lines into one large one. This is not longer a good idea.
I am beginning to believe that when you purchase a home, if you have enough equity to get an additional equity credit line, even if you never use it, is a good idea to get one. It is there as a back up.
Congratulations on being a stay-at-home mom. There is no better or more fulfilling job.