I assume you feel you cannot sleep in the same room as your husband because of his sleep disorder. If I was the underwriter I would question your explanations. Did you quote the law in your explanation letter? How about why you can't sleep in the same room? Did you explain why you aren't selling your current home.
If you sold your current home, you would find getting any mortgage easier.
Your bad experience just reinforces that most mortgage officers don't have their preapprovals underwritten.
You should call your loan officer for a detailed expanation. good luck working things out