Home Buying in Sacramento>Question Details

Grace, Real Estate Pro in Sacramento, CA

Buyer would like to bring their parents

Asked by Grace, Sacramento, CA Mon Oct 15, 2012

to see the house they're buying to take the final decision, but the file is with underwriter, Should I open the door to their parents? please advise

Help the community by answering this question:


Oh Gracie, open the doors and be there to kill them with your dynamic personality.

They will kill the deal if they are going to kill the deal, not much you can do about that BUT you can point out the lack of inventory and depending on where it is, bring a radius search of what homes are going for now and what a great opportunity they are getting

BUT your dynamic personality should keep them going

1 vote Thank Flag Link Mon Oct 15, 2012
miss you Bruce
Thank you
Flag Mon Oct 15, 2012
Hi Grace,

It's quite common in some cultures for the parents and other family advisors to "thumbs-up" a particular home.

Looking "post transaction road", do you want to be the Agent that helped a family member find the "perfect home" or the one that would not let the Buyer's family approve a property which perhaps has a cultural stigma Mom, Dad and Grandma find displeasing?

2 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Oct 15, 2012
Lovely answer
Flag Mon Oct 15, 2012
Always get the parents (or anyone who is influencial) in early on during the transaction!

Don't see how you can refuse to show them the house.

Quite frankly, if the mortgage is in underwriting, and all other contingencies are met........they really can't just arbitrarily walk away........can they?
2 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Oct 15, 2012
Of course you should show the parents that home. What's the worst that would happen? The worst that could happen is the parents could tell the kids to cancel the deal, and if the kids have already removed their contingencies, they'd put their deposit at risk -- but if that's what they want to do, that's what you do.
2 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Oct 15, 2012
You should do what your clients want, but we know that sometimes there can be "too many cooks in the kitchen" and that can muddy the water.
2 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Oct 15, 2012
Well, it's kind of late for the buyers to defer to the Final Deciders, but - there you have it.
1 vote Thank Flag Link Mon Oct 15, 2012
Most "should I" questions regarding your client's wishes or requests should be YES unless you can convince them it is not in their best interest. Basic rule is that if you cannot convince them and it is not illegal, unethical or fattening you do it. If you don't wish to proceed your only option is to withdraw as their agent. Years ago we had an agent withdraw a week prior to closing rather than violate a legal disclosure requirement.
1 vote Thank Flag Link Mon Oct 15, 2012
Thank you all for taking the time to respond
I really really appreciated
Frustrated showing homes to this people for 2 years, finally some agent feel sorry about me and accept my little offer FHA 3% back for closing costs bla bla bla impossible mission and they still thinking about it!!
Who like to have this guys if they cancel?
omg!! Bruce Slaton
I'm so happy to "see you" I miss your energy and wonderful ideas
best regards
Flag Mon Oct 15, 2012
Patrick & Tina
Yes, you're right I'll never brake the law
Thank you
Flag Mon Oct 15, 2012
Miss Grace...

Let me chime in here and pile on so to speak...

Does't matter where in the transaction you are... just open the door... let em have it and be cheer full and forthright if they have any questions...

You might just run into to some folks that are just happy for their kids that are buying a house...and want to see it... and if the "final decision" is "nada" or "no way Jose"...? That's not your problem... it's the buyer's isn't it...?

I think you already knew the answer too didn't you...?
1 vote Thank Flag Link Mon Oct 15, 2012
Yes by all means let the parents see the house. Everyone will be put at ease that they have made the right decision. .

Afterall, what is the alternative? Do not let the parents see the house. Have them fell like you are hiding something? This will insure that they will weave doubt in their children's minds.

Be generous. Be open. Show that everything is above boards, and their children have made a fantastic choice.
1 vote Thank Flag Link Mon Oct 15, 2012
If you are saying that the contract price and terms have been accepted and all contingencies are removed, I don't see the problem with the buyer's parents coming to see the house. If you don't they may wonder about you. If all is in order, open the door and welcome them in.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Sun Oct 21, 2012
Perhaps you might remind your clients it isn't the final decision as that decision was made when they signed the contract. But open the door for their parents and work WITH you clients.

Harold Sharpe - Broker
So Cal Homes
(951) 821-8211
California Department of Real Estate Broker License # 01312992
0 votes Thank Flag Link Sun Oct 21, 2012
A buyer bringing parents to see a home is not unusual. They have a right to do that. From your question, it is unclear to me whether the contingencies have been removed or not. If they have not been removed yet, the parents could kill the deal. If the contingencies HAVE been removed, the parents can't influence the deal.

Either way, the buyer has a right to bring family to see the home. Good luck.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Tue Oct 16, 2012
It is a little late in the process but not too late for them to kill the deal. I had parents kicking up problems on a deal last month saying closing costs were high (they were actually lower than the lender dad preferred) my reply to the father was, “Why don’t you lend them the money?”

We closed on schedule.

My point is, there is a fine line between protecting a child and interfering. Don’t be afraid to point that out to all involved, you can be much more diplomatic than me but you get the picture.

Jim Simms
NMLS # 6395
Financing Kentucky One Home at a Time
Web Reference: http://jamessimms.com/
0 votes Thank Flag Link Tue Oct 16, 2012
Lance brings up a great point - know who the buyer really is. We assume that a couple who comes to us wanting a home is the buyer. Very often they are receiving help or advice from family or friends who will also weigh in on their decision. A good question to ask up front is, "who will make the final decision on your purchase?" Rather than trying to isolate these influences, it's better win them over, too.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Tue Oct 16, 2012
I agree that it's always a good idea to get the parents in early if possible, but I don't see how you can avoid it without looking to hide something now.

One of the best ways to avoid this situation is to address it in advance. With EVERY offer we get I ask the selling agent questions about where the buyers' money is coming from, if any gift money, etc... Additionally I ask outright if they need/want parents or others' approval for the deal and get them to come in before the offer is accepted. That way we can continue to market the place while they are deciding if they really want the property, or we can ferret out the deals that are likely to blow up in a competitive offer situation.

Best Regards,

Lance King/Owner-Managing Broker
DRE# 01384425
0 votes Thank Flag Link Tue Oct 16, 2012
If the transaction is within any of the outstanding contingency periods, the buyer has the right to bring in a bum off the street to get their opinion. But if no politicians are available, bringing in the parents is common. This is especially true if the buyer is getting down-payment assistance from them.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Tue Oct 16, 2012
Hi Grace, by all means, open the doors and if you can, put a welcome streamer for the parents:)

Just my two cents: even if the transaction has moved to underwriting already, preventing the parents to see the house for final decision is like taking away the delight they can vicariously feel from one of the offspring's biggest achievement.

If you feel negative reaction, enlighten them with the positive attributes of the property.

Your smile can definitely move them towards the transaction consummation.

0 votes Thank Flag Link Tue Oct 16, 2012
Buyers parents can be helpful or they can be boat anchors thrown through the hull of the ship bringing the whole thing down. If the offspring are smart people, maybe their parents are too.

This genetics thing works both ways though, If the kids are clueless.... Well - where do you think they got that from?

By the way, if they are really giving "final decision" to mom and dad at a late stage in the escrow, they are.

Parents early, Yeah bring em on, the more the merrier. At the eleventh hour: red flag - not the checkered flag.
0 votes Thank Flag Link Mon Oct 15, 2012
Jim Walker, Real Estate Pro in Carmichael, CA
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