You could be misreading the agent's intent. Then again, you could be right on. First thing I would recommend is to tell your boyfriend to tell the agent to text both of you. Next thing, is this agent working for the seller or for you as a buyer's agent? You may want to consider interviewing some agents until you find someone you trust and feel comfortable with. Buying a property is one of the biggest decisions you will make, so it's helpful to have someone working for you rather than merely with you. I know this sounds self serving but I am a certified buyer representative and work in Suffolk County. Whether you decide to even contact me is up to you but I would recommend that you consider doing that. Good luck.

Ralph Windschuh
Century 21 Princeton Properties
631-467-0009
rwindschuh@c21princetonproperties.com

Thank you Ms. Lane. Now that I've gotten some helpful insights I will speak with my boyfriend about it today and see if we can get another agent to show us the house.

P.S. when she mentioned/gave us, (or I should say him because she was acting as if I was painted on the wall) the information about what gym she goes to, it was not even the same area where the house she was showing us. I could understand if she had said "oh if you guys have membership to so and so gym you can go to any of their locations.." but no, she went on to specify the one she goes to (Information that i found was not needed).

Dear Ac81,
Maybe the house was not meant to be, but if you find it becomes a benchmark against which you measure every other house and none of them quite match up, then this would be my suggestion for how to handle that situation.

If the house is not her personal listing, you can call her broker or office manager and explain that you are still interested in the house, but would prefer to work with a different agent. It isn't necessary or in anyone's best interests to go into details, as the objective is to buy the house, not reprimand the agent. So when they ask why, I would simply say that you feel there's a personality conflict. You want a smooth and easy transaction and don't want personalities to get in the way of a successful purchase. Their objective is to sell the house, so they are not going to make difficulties for you, but if pressed, you don't have to answer, you can leave it at that.

If the house is her personal listing, then I would go to a completely different agency and ask them to represent you as a buyer's agent. The transaction can still be done without any more direct contact with her, only your agent will need to be in touch and you can ask your agent to pick up her fee for her at the closing, so she doesn't even need to be there either.

Regarding the texting, it's common courtesy to ask people how they would like to be contacted, and the fact that she did not do that tells me she's not very experienced. Also to give her the benefit of the doubt, she may have mentioned her gym simply to let you both know there's a good one in the area, but I am struggling to excuse her for the flirting because there is no excuse for that. She's supposed to be selling a house, not herself! So I don't blame you at all for walking away - but it's not the only solution, and I'm mindful that the poor seller lost a very good buyer through no fault of their own, so maybe you'd like to give them a second chance and get the house you really like best.

Good Luck with your house hunt whatever you decide!

Joanna Lane http://www.propertyangels.com

Thanks for your responses Ms. Gladstone, I did not know that we could use another realtor to show us the house! that's great to know. Thank you so much for that piece of information!

Thanks Nunzio, that's exactly my point., not only did she not ask what means of communication we preferred, but she only texted him...another thing, all the agents we've met with always ask general questions targeted towards both of us, this person was obviously focused on my boyfriend. I just thought she was out of line with so many things she did that I don't even want to get into it here.

After reading your answer to other comments, I would like to add that just because this agent showed you a house that you like does not mean that you can enlist the assistance of another Realtor to take you back.

Home purchasing is about you, the buyer, not about the Realtor. The law will not make you utilize someone who made you feel uncomfortable.

Do call another Realtor to reshow you the house.

It is a terrible disservice to you that the agent did not first ask if you would like to receive text as a means of communication. For that matter she should have asked you what means you prefer and than she should use that method of communication. I will use text to communicate but only if my client prefers that method. I would much rather have face to face or phone conversation. As far as to who communication is with I always include both parties so everyone is on the same page. I have texted a message to a client couple both with the same message and both interperted it differently a follow up conversation brough all to same page. If I had only texted one that would have been out of context and could have turned a opportunity into a nightmare.
I service the suffolk south shore and would be happy to assist you both in finding a HOME.
Nunzio Zappola
Nunzio.Zappola@elliman.com
Off. (631) 422 7510
Cell(516)383-0700

The younger generation is using many new ways to communicate that we never had before. All of these new methods are being shoved down our throats as they way to go with the younger crowd.

Please explain to the Realtor that you are not comfortable with it and ask her to stop; explain which method of communication you would prefer and that you would like her to copy both of you at the same time, not just communicate with your boyfriend.

If at that point she does not cooperate, find another Realtor.

Thank you Ms. Marx. I would have probably been more understanding if she had mentioned to us that she likes to communicate with clients through text, but because of everything that was going on BEFORE she decided to send him a text, I just felt it was inappropriate.

Dear Ac81,

Although I haven't personally used texting as a means to communicate with clients who were not already personal friends, I've been in contact with several other agents and brokers who have. Often, they feel that it's a very efficient way to contact clients. As a woman, however, I definitely understand your frustration with her privileging his opinion. That was unprofessional, granted, professionalism is more or less a matter of opinion. Have you signed a binder with her? It not, and if you aren't happy with her services, you should not feel obligated to stay with her.

Best of luck,

Alessandra Marx
alessandra@elikaassociates.com
http://www.elikaassociates.com

Ms. Settar, thank you for your answer. I thought I was being silly for posting this, but I felt so uncomfortable with this agent. My boyfriend and I ended up arguing about it and decided that we will not deal with her anymore. I just think that there is a fine line when it comes being a free spirit and feeling comfortable with someone, I mean come on, why do we need to know the specific location of the gym where you workout? That's not what we're there for! What sucks is the fact that we loved one of the houses she showed us and because of her unprofessionalism we decided to forget that we even saw the house just to avoid any conflicts.

If you are going to be on the agreement of sale to purchase the property than by all means I would contact her directly and let her know how you feel. I do ask permission to text before texting anyone. Some clients do prefer it for privacy and less use of their minutes. Frankly the flirty behavior is just unprofessional too.
I'm sorry for this poor representation of a Realtor. And nothing silly here, your comfort level with the relationship with your Realtor is very important in terms of integrity. If you get no where with her, and you have a buyer representation agreement signed with her than contact the Broker/manager of the company.
I hope this helps!