Your lender should give you a closing cost worksheet and a GFE. If they have not done this already they are not in compliance and I would find another lender, one who can help you through this process.
As the others have mentioned closing costs can range if you are buying down points or many other variables... It also depends on what date you are closing as the lender will require you to escrow for property taxes and home owner's insurance (which are NOT considered closing costs but will be part of your cash to close requirement).
I would be happy to assit you through the mortgage loan process to make sure you understand all the details. I have been in this business for over 25 years!
Mortgage Loan Originator
My Website: http://Www.ShawnSullivan.Biz
WJ Bradley Mortgage Capital LLC
NMLS ID 3233
I am wondering why your Realtor and your title company aren't providing this information to you. You should have am estimated closing cost worksheet. Financing addenda usually are worded "up to $5500." Make sure you have a strategy to use as much of seller paids as possible.
Ask your agent to do a buyers closing cost worksheet.This is going to be approximate as the HUD1 is the final determining document for closing costs. You will also find out a day or two prior to closing what your costs will be when you receive the HUD1 statement from your lender.