My sincere condolences on your loss.
If I were in your position I would first talk to the lender. You may be able to walk into where you got the loan ( best case scenerio) and talk to someone there or you might have to find out who is servicing the loan and call them.
I recently represented a client whose lender had local offices but no one who would talk to them on the same subject you are describing. We called their call center and dealt with numerous people who could not make a decision, lost faxed paperwork several times and on and on. What finally got us an answer was internet research to locate decision makers. Once we got to that level we got both answers and guidance. Point being, don't get discouraged with the hoops you may have to jump through. Hopefully your resolution will be more like the first scenerio.
So, start at the beginning. There are many variables after that but they would all be assuming until you get an answer from the lender. Best of luck to you and know that being proactive is the best route.
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As others have mentioned call your lender about a loan modification, if you don't qualify call me and I can explain many other options
Would welcome the opportunity to help you
HRC (Housing Retention Consultant)
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm going to suggest you get advice from a variety of sources. As Real Estate agents, our general advice is to sell. This is how we make our living and for many people it is the best advice. For your situation it may be, but you should hear other voices that have nothing to gain from your decision.
Family, attorneys or wise friends may help you walk through the various decisions you need to make. If you do decide to sell, interview a few agents and find the one who has current success in this market and listens to you needs. This one may not suggest the highest price, and that may be the best advice.
Contact your lender and see if they will do a loan modification. If that isn't a viable solution, you can sell your home. If you owe more on your home than what it's market value, you would attempt a Short Sale. You could also see if your lender would do a Deed In Lieu Of Foreclosure if there is a possibility of Foreclosure. Last resort would be your lender foreclosing on you.
So, first contact your lender - see if they will do a loan modification or Deed In Lieu Of Foreclosure. If they won't, contact a Realtor in your area to see about doing a Short Sale.