Suggestion - don't muddy the waters until AFTER you have purchased your home. Buying a home is already "full" of emotions of all sorts. Keep your focus, and be certain that your decisions are lead by your head and heart regarding your new home - not your new love interest. If it's "right" you can go for it later.

I hope to hear that "everything" works out with the home and the relationship.
Take care!!!

Did it happen or not? I think it is legal but I would advise keeping it cool until a well planned decision on a house purchase was made. I think it would be a dangerously hard situation to make wise real estate decisions when it could be just an emotional physical attraction mixing up a human mind. Tread very cautiously!

Married 49 mostly happy years and in real estate for 25 years.

Did it happen or not? I think it is legal but I would advise keeping it cool until a well planned decision on a house purchase was made. I think it would be a dangerously hard situation to make wise real estate decisions when it could be just an emotional physical attraction mixing up a human mind. Tread very cautiously!

Married 49 mostly happy years and in real estate for 25 years.

Liz, if he's right, he's worth waiting [until after you've bought your dream house] for.

If the house is right, he's worth having in your sphere of influence when it comes time to sell that house!

Good luck and God Bless!

David Thomas - Real Estate Pro

Liz, I do not know your circumstances but, i well guess maybe you are in need of attention is sort of way. Whether you have just been through a divource or just broke up with another? We all sometimes come to a point in life where we feel alittle lonely especially when our kids don't call on us until they need something? Or maybe you want to just make some changes to make things a little more exciting. Nevertheless, you are ingaging in an area that can be a bombshell waiting to explode. My advise is to ask him straight up if he really loves you, he should refer you to another agent.

There are many smooth talkers in this industry. Remember, realtors have the same reputation that car sells men have and I believe that to be at least 50% correct. The market is very slow as you know and this can be away for some agents to catch the bait and reel them in. Since, this is not his home, he certainly does not have the investment to loose as you do. At the end he won't care one way or the other what he has done to you. If you have children to keep a roof over head, again you will need to be extra cautious on what you decide.

Remember, if something goes wrong, you will have to come to terms with your own decision.

Best regards.

59 answers later and almost 2 months later...the world wants to know, I WANT TO KNOW...did you find a home? with the same agent/another agent? are you still looking for a home? did you date him? are you still with him? I can't take the suspense....

You can date him. I know lots of agents that end up meeting the one by selling them there house. Start looking for another house with enough room for the two of you and not just the one of you. LOL

No, Liz ! He's gay.

just kidding :-) I can't believe how many responses you have had..

My advice is to take it very slow and be careful. Harmless flirting always makes a gal feel good but you are in the process of a very important transaction. Keep your head to insure you are using your good judgement and not to make rash decisions. If you feel you are getting too serious, I would suggest discussing this with him and figure out the best way to handle the situation. Changing agents is always an alternative, but he has been working with you for a few months. Your heart will tell you what to do in the end.

In my opinion, once the word 'love' has been introduced, the objectivity necessary to complete the transaction has been compromised. I would advice you to ask for a referral to another agent in the office. You're dealing with hundreds of thousands of dollars and need an advocate, not a boyfriend.

Take it from a woman who has had many client/agent attractions. I've always enjoyed flirting and it has gotten me into plenty of heartbreaking situations. Be cautious because the Realtor could be flirting to keep you connected to him until the sale is final. There's a lot of competition out there in the profession and having a loyal client is extremely beneficial. You don't want to be hurt by someone who uses his position of authority (he has the info, power to close the deal, & connections/resources) to lure you into a sexual relationship only to dump you after the sale closes. Call me wary, but protect yourself until after the sale and then see if he pursues/woes you in a respectful way. Cheryl Blair, REeBroker in CA

Has he asked you? If so, please wait until you're through the process then go for it!

I would not date your agent until your finish the home buying process. It is a very emotional time and adding the "love" feelings into the mix could make things harder. I would only handle one life changing event at this time. I would not want to potential ruin a good thing!

I am actually married to a former client - we fell in love while working together. I initiated it and knew I should not have because it goes against my code of ethics. But we fell in love!! So soon after he closed on the house that I represented him in purchasing, I moved in. And now we are married and expecting a child. It worked out for us - obviously could have been very different - and he is thinking of getting his real estate license now and we are going to start buying investment properties.

My advice - tread very carefully! If you blossom this relationship while he is acting as your agent, and you purchase a home through him - what happens if there are repurcussions later on about his fiduciary responsibility or worse still, the deal falls through! Are you going to think of him in the same light? will you blame him directly for not being professional to you, the client throughout the entire process? And so on.....
If the ball were in the other court, I would be very professional and outline in detail all the many things that can go wrong in a transaction and for that reason, refer the purchase process to another agent, if i the Real estate Salesperson wanted to become involved in this relationship. Hope this helps?

I would say after the contract is completed, you can invite him for dinner. I would not date him or get
to friendly with him until after he has sold you a home.

I am a real estate broker that met my wonderful husband at an open house for one of my listings. He wasn't initially looking for a townhome but felt drawn to stop in. While we were working together trying to find him a nice home, we discovered that we had so much in common, including many of the same spiritual beliefs. We were married within a year and have been married for over 5 years now. This is a second marriage for both and neither of us were looking to remarry, having each remained single for many years. We both thank GOD for bringing us together. By the way, he made the first move. Although I consider many of my clients as friends, I don't think that it is appropriate for an agent to initiate that personal a relationship with a client.

SURE!!! You ought not hesitate or you will regret it for rest of time. There is no rules to love. If you can't buy a house from him you shouldn't date him and vise versa. Let you hair down and make the first move if he doesn't. He being on the professional side of this potential relationship I think he is waiting for you to stike first with the flirtations. GOOD LUCK and HAPPY TRAILS!

Liz,

You can never predict when attraction strikes! My best advise would be to just take it casually and enjoy the friendship during the transaction. When the businnes is complete and out of the way if you both would like to pursue something more then I say go for it! Mixing business with pleasure can be very difficult from many different perspectives. If you are both patient and wait both of you may be able to reap the benefits of something very wonderful.

Linda Kemp
Keller Williams Realty
Naperville, IL

GO FOR IT GIRL! LIFE IS TOO SHORT!

Yes, date him. I hope that happens to me too. I am a single Realtor and looking!

Guess it would all depend on what my wife has to say?

I know there are already 41 responses to this but I just have to say it. . . YES! Date your agent!! If he's single and your single and there's an attraction why not? I might just wait until after the closing though.

Liz

That is so cool! I would keep the agent but try ( kinda of hard to do sometimes) to keep the dating on a hold unitl after the sale is completed.
I hope you find a great home and hopefully a true romance!

OK Liz,

I think all of us soap opera Realtors need an update. Please let us know about your situation
1. Now
2. After you get your first mortgage payment
3. 2 years from now

;)

One of my friends who is a REALTOR married her client just recently. So it is possible!

Michael

Liz--this is a difficult situation. I would wait until after the transaction is complete. At that point, it would be a "clean slate" on which a relationship could be pursued leaving no room for any questions that could possibly arise (in your mind) later on. Good luck with your real estate and love!

date him, your both single.

Liz: All's fair in Love and Real Estate, you say you are in love with him but is he in love with you. Make sure you have all your signals correct befor pursuing the relationship. Maybe to make sure he feels the same you should try another realtor and if he still wants to date you then you know it's for real & you can restart the business relationship and pursue the personal relationship......

I am married to one of my former/current clients. We met when a former client referred him to me, to find a rental property. You dont need to change agents. Love doesn't wait for a closing. My "client/husband" and I fell for each other quite fast- we found a house and had our first date immediately after the home inspection. If anything, dating him while in the escrow, made me go above and beyond the call of duty to ensure things flowed smoothly for him. We were engaged 6 months later, married a year later and have been delirously happy ever since. Now we are both licensed agents and work together too. Again, you only get some many chances in life to find true love....you can always find another house!

I'd wait until after the transaction before pursuing anything with the agent. During the process you can build quite a rapport with your Realtor. IF something goes wrong during the transaction, the last thing you guys want is some sort of mistrust due to the new "relationship." Wait until the closing, then see if he asks you to diner to celebrate.

I know it's a cliche but don't dip your pen in company ink.

Liz Liz Liz......To answer your questions.....along with the rest.......yes you can date him (sort of) and no, you do not have to change agents. I would hope as the real estate professional, he would be helpful in guiding you through this situation. In many real estate transactions we (the realtor) become friendly and connected to our clients. This leads to great and genuine relationships and friendships which our business is in turn built. I am certain you are not confusing this with love. So during the transaction and before closing I would try to keep it as light as possible. He is the one taking a business risk and as anyone "in love" knows when chemistry is sparked, logic and reason fizzle out. So do it for him. I have had male clients get a little too close for comfort and it is a fine line to walk. I stay professional. You are his client right now. Hang on to your feelings until you get the keys. If he is serious, believe me, he will present you an awesome house warming gift (that is if he doesn't try to put you in a rental) If he does try to put you in a rental (especially in this market) then you know it must be love!

I work with an agent who met his wife the same way. When talking with him, you can see the love in his eyes. In my opinion, I would complete the deal on the home before I pursue the relationship unless you can keep business and pleasure totally separate. After the deal is complete, then go for the relationship. Of course, if you think the relationship has great potential than you might want to wait to buy the home and you two can buy one together. 8-)

Best wishes.

Liz,

You've gotten everyone's opinion so... here's one more.

Keep in mind that a good agent is hard to find. I would be reluctant to abandon a good agent just because you've fallen in love. What you do with your personal life is just that, personal, keep it that way. Don't let personal stuff get in front of a good business relationship which means money in the bank, a more comfortable, healthful, efficient and aesthetic home purchase.

I don't recommend marrying real estate agents but that is probably because I'm a real estate agent and know from observation and self-appraisal the limitations of realtors as life-partners. If he REALLY loves you maybe he'll cut his commission!

Be blessed and continue to ask probing questions.

Liz, that you even question this shows you have boundaries and class. Out of respect for your Agent and to protect him from coming under scrutiny, please keep it at a professional level until you close on your new home. Good for you! You can have your cake and eat it too with proper timing, He will respect you for this.

Are you really in love? Realtors who are committed to their profession are always returning calls, giving their customers and clients maximum attention, and catering to their real estate needs...don't confuse professionalism with love. I agree that you should buy your home first, from this wonderful agent, and then go out together, on a REAL date and enjoy eachother's company. I hope it's everything you are feeling and A LOT more! Good luck in your new home and in your new relationship!

Just because you have a personal relationship with someone would not mean that you would be compromising the buyer-broker contract. The agent would still owe you a fiduciary duty to represent your best interests.

I'm going to go with the people who advise buying your home and then inviting him to dinner after closing. That way the business is finished and you can concentrate on developing your relationship.

What planet are we on???

Liz, if this guy cares about you and not just selling you a home, then he would understand why it is in your best interest to ask him to refer you to another agent. If he doesn't accept that, you have your answer as to his true intent. He can still be compensated as a referring agent so he is not out financially, and it will allow you to make a smart decision without being inadvertently steered.

As to the agent, he could cross a line that would have serious ramifications financially, even ending his career in real estate. At the very least, it could damage his personal reputation within the community.

I still say no. Your relationships you have with family members and friends are already established. If you were their agent, your loyalty and need to please towards these people during a transaction can only benefit THEM. In this case, you've know this person for a few months. Your new relationship with the agent contributes a huge emotional factor to a decision that is already emotionally charged. Don't muddle things. It will protect both of you. Like I said before, if you need to ask....

Go for it! Life is a truly a constant of wonderful , beautiful experiences that are meant to be enjoyed!
Would you represent a family member or a member of your church if they liked and trusted you and your real estate sales ability? I should think so!

Our business thrives on referrals and doing business with people we care about. Could it be you haven't found a home in a few months because you are wanting to keep him in your life? Find a house and ask him to take you to dinner for a closing gift. See how things develop from there.

Along came Polly... Debra Messing was the real estate agent! Maybe he'll be even more careful with helping you, because he'll think he may have to deal with your house in the future...?? good luck!!

As a professional the Agent should complete the business transaction first. If the Agent is interested in a relationship it will develop as time goes by. You on the other hand should also keep your mind on your goal of finding the right property for you to buy. I have not know many who can separate pleasure from business. Why confuse the two now. Wait, get the business completed and then move on to reaching your next goal.

Your agent has already spent time earning that paycheck. Being a Realtor is not a hobby - give him the professional respect of finishing the job first. Let him sell you a house, then invite him for dinner afterwards to celebrate. All good things come to those who wait. Good luck on both your new home and your new relationship.

Why not? Go for it. I don't see why you can't work with him as well as go out with him.

I say go for it! The "love" market is tougher than the real estate market. Just remember, his business is his business. Do not expect or accept and special treatment in regards to the real estate transaction.

Hi Liz,

This could turn out to be a win, win for both of you. Simply put, don't date your agent UNITL AFTER YOU HAVE PURCHASED YOUR HOME through him. When there is no longer a 'professional' relationship, phone him up and go to dinner. The rest is up to you.

Good luck,

Dennis Leffert

It would be best for all concerned, if you can keep business and romance seperate. Dont give up a great person, just get a new agent!