I'm here to tell you that there are plenty of reasons... good reasons, why you would NOT want to become a homeowner. Here are ten of those reasons... (American Dream my arse).
1) You'll miss that intimate relationship you've grown accustomed to with your building's superintendent... Vassily... for the first year, you thought he was wearing an athletic t-shirt over a dark furry sweater.
2) You'll miss the moldy smell of your parent's basement. Fungus grows on you. (and your plastic furniture).
3) You'll have to start paying for your own utilities, instead of using the payphone in the parking lot of the Dominoes Pizza.
4) Mom won't do your laundry anymore... (who are we kiddin', just bag it up and drag it back home each weekend... homeownership won't change that at all!)
5) No more chats with the pimp that lives in the garden apartment. He has such interesting stories... and friends.
6) You'll miss those high decibel conversations with your sister, when you find out that she's borrowed your favourite Bulls jersey.
7) No more free concerts from the musician who lives just upstairs from you, when he comes home from his gigs at 2:00 in the morning, and replays the recording for his "old lady" at full volume!
8) No more free contact-high from walking through the lobby, past the super's apartment. Is that oregano?
9) Your new home won't have hot and cold running cockroaches. What'll you do for the Cockroach Derby?
10) What'll you do on the weekend, without draggin' me out to show you the next 6 third-floor walk-ups? You'll miss me, you know it. True dat.
You'll miss me, you know it.
ALAN MAY, Realtor®
Specializing in Evanston Real Estate and North Shore Real Estate
Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate, 2929 Central Street, Evanston, IL 60201
847.425.3779 Cell: 847.924.3313 Email: Almay@aol.com
Evanston Real Estate & North Shore Real Estate